Until That Day
by BleedingCoffee
Summary: For RoyAi 100 Themes: Prompt #100. Ed and Winry are getting married! Roy and Riza arrive early to help with wedding preparations, but aren't prepared for the emotions that come with it.
1. Back to Where it All Began

AN: For Royai 100 themes: #100: Until That Day.

Summary: Ed and Winry are getting married! Roy and Riza arrive early to help with the wedding and find themselves wondering where all the time has gone and if they'll run out of time for themselves. RoyAi, EdWin

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

_Until That Day_

Chapter 1

**Back to Where it All Began**

* * *

_Resenbool, 1917_

The Rockbell home was already prepared for the wedding despite the big event being almost three days away. When Roy got out of the car he expected to hear screaming, see Ed scrambling across the yard trying to avoid being beaten and Al and May struggling to get everything ready in time. He agreed to come a few days early just to help, figuring Al would appreciate someone else with alchemy to assist. "I expected it to be chaos around here."

Riza walked around to the other side of the car and took in the quiet of the country home. She rarely missed her childhood, but there were moments like these when she could take in the clean country air and the stunning views and get a twinge of homesickness. "Winry is clearly in charge. You should know, sir, how smoothly things go when a woman is in charge."

He glanced down at her with a slight smile. "Orders from _that_ commanding blond in question were that we leave our uniforms and military_ everything_ back in Ishval. Clearly Fullmetal still chokes on his tongue when he has to address me as a superior and his fiance is trying to make it easier on him. So, quit calling me 'sir'."

"If you insist, Mr. Mustang." She replied and he chuckled.

"Nice." He bowed and extended his arm towards the house. "After you Miss Hawkeye."

She took a few steps forward before he could stand up straight again, for some reason that made her blush a little. It had been years since the two of them walked up this path, but the house looked exactly the same. Other than the decorations, she felt like time stood still and her gut twisted a little as she recalled the first time they met the Elrics. She hadn't been expecting to see a mere boy with his limbs missing sulking in the corner, nor Roy lifting him out of his wheelchair and screaming at him. She would have never suspected those two would grow close or even the impact they would have on each others lives. The extraordinary adventure aside, she marveled at how she and Roy could be welcome into the Rockbell and Elric home like extended family.

Roy looked up as the door opened and Al's face greeted them. It was still so strange to see the kid as human and not some towering hunk of armor. He had that ridiculous panda sitting on his shoulder like a parrot. "It looks like you didn't need our help after all, Alphonse. The house looks great."

Al smiled. "Colonel...I mean General! Yes! Mei and I got everything done yesterday. I cheated, we used alchemy since Brother is a horrible carpenter. I think he's trying to get an automail hand as much as he smashes his fingers with a hammer."

Mei squeaked as she ran up besides Al. "Oh Good! You're here! You need to help Winry with her dress. She's fussing with it and quite honestly I don't know anything about Amestrian fashion to help."

Riza was yanked into the house by the strong little princess who didn't even give her a chance to wave a hello at Edward who was sitting at the kitchen table.

Al shrugged. "Come in sir. I was hoping you could look over my speech. I remember Mr. Hughes saying your speech as his best man was perfection."

Pinako walked over to the door and looked at the man who had yet to set foot over the threshold. She gave him a look over, glad he obeyed the request to not come in uniform. "Why don't you ask if they want to bring their bags in."

Roy shook his head. "We were planning to get a room in town."

"Nonsense." Pinako said and turned her back on him. "They have a room for you two already made up."

"_A_ room?" Roy asked as the woman started to climb the stairs.

"This isn't the Grand Hotel, Mustang." Pinako replied. "Either share the back room or use the doghouse. It's up to you."

Al shrugged. "Come in sir, sorry."

Roy wasn't that upset that they kept him waiting on the porch. It was difficult to take that step into the home as it was like taking a step back in time. Back when they were all younger and still so naive, he and Riza included. He followed Al into the kitchen where Ed was staring at a blank piece of paper. The blond stood up and narrowed his eyes at him, waiting for the opening volley of insults that marked their unique relationship. "I'll be damned, you actually are a little taller."

Ed smiled. That wasn't so bad...

"Did you get platform boots for the wedding?" Roy grinned.

"Did you forget to dye your hair for the wedding? I'm seeing a lot of gray hairs. Only the bride should be wearing white." Ed countered and saw Roy grin.

"Good to see you, Fullmetal."

"Yeah you too Mustang."

* * *

Winry smoothed out the dress again as Pinako backed away from pinning it for the tenth time this hour. She looked in the mirror and exasperated she said, "My God, why didn't anyone tell me my boobs were this big?"

Riza sat on her bed and watched the bride try to add some material to her dress to avoid the incredible amount of cleavage that was threatening to overflow from her dress. "Why don't you just have one of the boys add some height to the neckline with alchemy?"

Pinako glanced at the woman soldier. "So my lace looks bad?"

Mei nodded. "Like you're trying to hold back her boobs with a fishing net."

"Take it off, I'll see if I can redo the seam and change the bodice." Pinako grumbled and went back downstairs.

Mei jumped up to help Winry out of her dress. "So Hawkeye, when are you getting married?"

Riza could see Winry's smirk in the mirror before she disappeared behind a screen to take off her dress. "I'm not seeing anyone."

"Oh don't even try to play that card." Winry chirped. "Mei told me what happened on the Promised Day. Don't even try to act like there's nothing between you and Mustang."

Mei gave a bashful smile. "What? It was really romantic in hindsight. Once we weren't in imminent danger of dying or being destroyed by evil...well you should have seen how you two looked at each other."

Winry stepped out from behind the screen now back in her shop clothes. "So tell us, Riza, how can anyone ignore that?"

Riza blushed as the two younger woman looked at her with an all knowing gaze, daring her to defy their statements.

* * *

Ed looked at Mustang as he grumbled and fished in his jacket for something. "What's your problem? Are you suddenly illiterate?"

"No." Roy spat. "It's my damned eyes. My vision was returned but not exactly as before. I can see, but...I need reading glasses."

Ed didn't know why that was so bad. Being blind versus some vision limitations didn't seem like that big of a deal. Well unless you were Mr. Perfect who prided himself on his looks and apparently 20/20 vision.

"And driving glasses." He put them both on the table. "I'm not used to these damned things yet."

"I doubt the glasses improved your driving any." Ed snorted, then asked, "Isn't your job reading paperwork most of your day?"

"Shut up Ed." Roy tried on the one pair and then put it down in favor of the other one. "You know damned well that I just sign paperwork. I never read any of it."

"Yeah," Ed said dryly as Roy donned his glasses to read Al's speech. "I remember that from the out of context comments you would write on my field reports."

Roy huffed and looked over his glasses at Ed who was still sitting there tapping his pen on the table looking at a blank piece of paper. "What are you trying to write? Your autobiography?"

"His wedding vows." Al chirped and grinned. "Winry told him if it had anything to do with alchemy or equivalent exchange she was going to punch him."

Roy pushed the glassed back up where they needed to be and looked at Al's speech. "I feel like I'm helping you two with homework."

Al cleared his throat. "Maybe...you can give him some ideas? I'm sure you've thought about what you were going to say at your wedding? I mean, Hawkeye does deserve something really special instead of generic...right?"

Roy didn't even glance up from the speech. "Nice try Al. Don't forget that my team, my boss and my Mom also are on my case about getting married and I deal with this on a daily basis."

"Mei said...well she likes to tell the story of the Promised Day to people in the royal court a lot." Al shrugged.

"Do you want my help with this speech or not?" Roy glanced over at him.

"I'll pay you to write my vows." Ed said and shoved the blank paper across the table to him.

"With what? The money you still owe me?" Roy glanced at the other Elric who was looking at him like he'd sell his soul just to be rid of the responsibility of writing his wedding vows. He took off his glasses and set them down on the table. They hurt his nose. "I can't believe you invited me to your wedding to do your paperwork!"

"If you're never going to get married, then what's the harm in letting me buy your ideas from you?" Ed asked.

* * *

"General Mustang is..." Riza began only to see Winry's expression darken. No wonder she kept Ed in line.

Winry put her hands on her hips. "I said no military _anything_ was allowed here this weekend! Not at my wedding."

"Mustang, " Riza restarted and watched the two girls grumble at her clever sidestep, "Is my boss and a friend."

"He almost squeezed your guts out he was so happy I saved your life! He was on the verge of crying!" Mei squeaked. "I saw it with my own eyes!"

Riza stood firm. They were used to this by now. "Because a man deeply in love would refer to me by my rank."

Mei shook her head, her braids dancing over her shoulders. "Then why did the bad guys call you , 'his precious woman'?"

"RoyAi shipping has become a national past time." Riza replied.

"Look, " Winry brushed her hair away from her face. "I think the man can be an ass but the fact remains that he was there for Ed and Al when they needed someone most. Not Hoenhiem, Mustang. So in some weird way you two were like the parents they both should have had. They're both so independent and stubborn, they would have never been happy having some warm home and cuddly family to come home to everyday like the Hughes'. Sure it was great for a while, but then they get wanderlust and off they go again. Anyhow I guess what I'm trying to say is that they just needed to know someone was always standing behind them. They never wanted to worry me, so they didn't tell me anything. I guess...he's not _all_ bad, Mustang that is."

Mei leaned forward and smiled. "I think you might want to do something about it before it's too late."

"Are you calling me old?" Riza narrowed her eyes at them and they replied in unison.

"Yes."

* * *

Al's lip trembled as he looked over his speech. "You...crossed out almost all of it!"

Roy rubbed his eyes. He had a hard time adjusting his focus after he moved from glasses to normal vision and his eyes always teared up. "If Ed is going to get hit for mentioning alchemy, I'm pretty sure the rules apply to you as well."

Al looked up at his brother, panicked. "Oh my God! What am I going to say!?"

Roy stood up and looked down at the two Elrics and shook his head. "You have three days. Come up with something. It's not human transmutation, it's just a paragraph of simple words."

"There is a minimum word count!?" Ed screeched. "Where are you going!?"

Roy walked to the kitchen counter. "I imagine you have coffee? Or are you really that uncivilized out here? Is the reason you hate milk because there isn't anything else to drink?"

Al looked to Ed. "Brother what if we recite something, maybe a poem?"

Ed growled. "We burnt our house down with all those books in it!"

"Why did we do that!?" Al looked down at the redacted speech. "The only thing in this house is medical books and automail manuals!"

They glanced at each other before exploding out of the kitchen and into the workshop. Roy looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. _Idiots_.

* * *

Riza walked down the stairs, no longer interested in playing matchmaking games with the two girls half her age. They were following behind her uttering apologies about the slight but she really didn't want to forgive them yet. She was _not_ old. She was not _getting_ too old for a family. She was _not_ developing age issues. She was however, going to take out her frustrations on Roy for leaving his damned glasses lying on the table! How many times was she going to have to get on him about this? He never lost his pocket watch, but somehow managed to leave his glasses everywhere but in his shirt pocket!

Winry watched Riza walk over and swipe something off the kitchen table before walking over to where Mustang was trying to read a coffee can. She and Mei leaned around the corner to see how this would play out.

"Sir, use your glasses!" Riza snapped and Roy turned to look at her. She could see him put on that helpless moron look, expecting her to just make the coffee for him instead of forcing him to read how many scoops it required to make it himself.

Winry piped up. "No! I said NO military formalities this weekend!"

Riza slapped the glasses into his hand. "Wear your glasses, _idiot_!"

Roy watched her march out of the kitchen and heard the front door slam. He looked over at the two girls and frowned. "What did you two do?"

Winry put her hands on her hips and stepped forward with the princess Mei right beside her. "It's what you _haven't_ done, mister!"

Mei pointed an accusatory finger at him and said with the authority of a princess, "You haven't asked her to marry you yet!"

Roy put his glasses on so the two girls would fade into blurry blobs. "Yes, I did. Several times."

Winry and Mei looked at each other as the man went back to trying to make his coffee. "What?"

"I work long hours. We get married and she's no longer allowed to be by my side." He replied. "Also something about be being an idiot who might get blinded, killed or turned into a human sacrifice if she's not there to watch me. Good luck to both of you if you're trying to wear her down."

"So the Promised Day..." Mei said.

"Is going to happen _again_ if someone doesn't help me make some damned coffee." He mumbled and picked up the glass carafe. "All the numbers are worn off the side of this thing! How do I know how many cups it is? How can you live in a house with an alchemist and not have adequate measuring devices? Do you know what goes wrong if you don't put exactly the right measurements into something?"

Winry went over and took the carafe from him and the coffee. "I'll make it."

"Thank you." Roy looked up as he heard the front door open and something smack against it. Riza was bringing in their bags by herself. He swiftly walked out of the kitchen and grabbed a bag from her as she tried to wrestle both through the door while holding it open. Pinako came out of a back room as they flawlessly navigated the hand off like they did this on a daily basis.

"I'll show you to your room." Pinako puffed on her pipe as Mustang closed the front door.

"Room? Singular?" Riza asked and saw Roy shrug.

"Pretty sure our secret's safe here." Roy gave her a smile and saw her roll her eyes in response.

"You mean with the kid who told everyone he met that he performed human transmutation?" Riza whispered.

Roy watched her follow Pinako down a hall and followed behind both of them.

Riza set her bag down in the back room and looked at the queen size bed. "This was her parents room, wasn't it?"

Pinako puffed on her pipe and nodded. "Yup."

Roy walked in and set his bag down next to the door and Pinako quickly disappeared and shut the door behind her. Riza was looking at some pictures on the nightstand of the Elrics and Winry as kids. He sat down on the bed and flopped backwards. "I wasn't expecting this weekend to be like this."

She looked at him, his eyes closed and his fingers undoing his collar button and the one below so his neck could be less restricted. She looked around the room; Winry's parent's bedroom that still had pictures of their daughter and her two friends. Neither of these kids would have parents to attend the ceremony on Saturday. Instead, Winry gave them this room because they were filling in for Ed's parents. It made her heart ache. "I know."

Roy took a deep breath, happy to relax a little. "It seems like just yesterday when we walked in this house for the first time. Now that little shit is getting married. Instead of hanging up his ridiculous pictures of homunculus on the refrigerator, I'm helping him write his wedding vows. "

She was about to say something but he kept talking. He started to play with the dog tags around his neck.

"It used to be _us_ sitting at the kitchen table doing our homework. You don't realize how quickly things move along when you're living in the moment. I didn't think I'd live through this. Now it's so painfully obvious how short life is, now that we've come back here. Back to where this all began, when I had my eyes fixed on the top and nothing else. Nothing else, not even the morality of using some damned kid to get myself a promotion. That damned kid..."

She knew why he stopped talking because she too was tearing up. "We're going to keep our eyes fixed on the top because we need to change this world still...for that kid and his kids."

"Riza, the world is never going to be perfect. It's what makes it so damned beautiful."

"Roy..."

"I won't ask. I promised you that last time. I won't ask again, I'll keep _that_ promise to you." He sat up and rubbed his eyes, putting the necklace with his dog tags and his mother's engagement ring back into his shirt. That ring and his name stamped into the metal tag was going to have to be as close as he got to having Riza be his wife. Two symbolic pieces of metal, hanging around his neck reminding him of the path he had chosen. Yes life was beautiful: beautiful and cruel. How one simple question had been something he fantasized about asking, then eventually learned to dread the answer to. It finally got to the point where she asked him to stop, just because of how painful it was becoming for her to say no. "Coffee should be ready, do you want some?"

"Sure. I'll...be out in a few minutes." She wiped away a tear and listened to him softly walk to his bags, rifle through them and find a more comfortable shirt. The rustle of fabric as he pulled his dress shirt off over his head, something she didn't want to see because she knew that her eyes would only see that ring dangling over his chest. He must have quickly thrown on a tee shirt as she heard him open the door and leave. No, she wasn't expecting the weekend to be like this either.


	2. She Could Say No

_AN:_ I was influenced by a lot of official artwork while writing this. There is some '03 artwork that has Roy in casual clothes wearing glasses that inspired me to start this. It's on my blog somewhere. ;)

* * *

_Until That Day_

Chapter 2

**She Could Say No**

* * *

Riza was pleasantly surprised that the coffee was drinkable and she wondered if Roy actually made it himself. She heard his voice from the other room as he hollered, "NO!" repeatedly and she couldn't imagine what argument was erupting between him and Ed now. She closed her eyes and let the delightful beverage warm her throat as she swallowed it. She choked up a little when they were talking earlier and her throat seemed like it constricted . Perhaps now with a little caffeine, clear eyes and mind she could join the boys and see what they were up to. It as better than going back to Winry's room and hearing she was an old maid who should throw herself at Amestris's most wanted bachelor.

"No."

She wondered if Roy was planning to just wear the word out and watch it disappear from the Amestrian language like a thread-bare flag whipping in the wind. Ironic considering he was the one who just went on a ramble down memory lane thanks to how old he was feeling. Old but not mature, that was for sure. Clearly something to recommend for his epitaph.

"NO!"

She looked into the small room with a desk and a wall of books. There was a potbelly stove taking up a good portion of the room, but the walls had built in book cases to make up for that. A few lamps lit up the room quite well for it having no windows. Roy was sitting on a plush armchair in the corner leaning forward and glaring at the two Elrics as they sat on the floor surrounded by books. Her eyes, as always, were drawn to Roy who still maintained a presence about him no matter what he was wearing. _That_ t-shirt however always managed to cling to parts of his body when he moved. She had no idea why that particular cotton blend shirt could do that, but it always drew her eyes to the outline of his muscles and made her want to walk over and rub his tense shoulders. No matter how relaxed or casual he tried to appear she knew that those muscles would be rock hard with stress and the burden of everything he carried with him.

"You're not even listening to what I found!" Ed growled. "Quit saying 'no'!"

"NO!" Roy snapped back. "If either of you idiots quote a repair manual on your wedding day I will personally hand Miss Rockbell the gun to shoot you with."

She leaned against the door frame to watch him as he reached over for his coffee mug on a stack of books and looked into it as steam rose from the dark brew. She cursed that damned shirt. That damned shirt and how it hung off his shoulder to showcase his collar bone and the gap that always formed on the neckline when he leaned over. How it allowed the chain that hung around his neck to escape the confines of his shirt as he leaned forward. His dog tags and the ring Madam Christmas had given to him as the last remaining male Mustang, danging over his knees as he leaned forward to yell at two young men on the floor.

"She loves automail!" Ed blasted back.

"You dumb shit, she loves _you_!" Roy shouted back and finally leaned back in the comfortable old armchair and raised his coffee to his lips. He caught something out of the corner of his eye and glanced over to the door. He lowered the coffee as he saw the look on Riza's face as she stood there. His eyes softened, needing to know if she was alright without vocalizing it and drawing the boy's attention to her.

Riza gave him a smile as she pushed her thoughts back to where they belonged. This weekend was not about them. "Still having problems?"

Al looked up at Hawkeye as she walked in and took position by Mustang's side automatically. "Yes. We just don't know where to start."

"Hint." Roy said dryly. "Start by putting those damned books away!"

Ed slammed the automail manual shut and crossed his arms, then leaned against the desk and sulked. "Maybe I don't want to pour out my feelings in front of everyone! You ever think about that? Maybe it's something I want to do in private!"

"Fullmetal, they're vows!" Roy scoffed. "Vows not a proposal! She already said 'yes', you don't have to convince her of anything. Vows are about the social and religious contract you're about to enter in to. You are telling each other what marriage means to you, you are expressing what the ceremony is _really_ about to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with."

Ed stared at him and then launched himself across the floor to grab his pen and paper. "Ok, say that again. That's perfect."

"It's a definition, not a declaration." Roy hissed.

"Say it again." Ed said and started scribbling what he remembered.

"I revise my statement. She already said 'yes' but she can still change her mind. " He felt Riza slap his arm as Ed's face looked up at him, slightly paler than before.

"Oh my God, that's right." Ed said and stared at his scribbled words and a drawing of a cat Alphonse had doodled in the corner. "If this sucks, she'll say no. What if she says NO!?"

Riza placed her hand on Roy's shoulder and squeezed until he collapsed under her vise grip. "Roy Mustang, this is _not_ funny."

"No?" Ed said and looked at his brother. "What if she says 'no'?"

The brothers looked at the older couple in the room and remembered what Mei and Winry has just told them. Riza said 'no' to Roy, _several times_. If that was possible than anything could happen.

"Brother, there is better chance of me saying 'No' to a new cat." Al said and tried to quell the panic that was taking a hold of his older brother as Ed stood up and ran out of the room.

"NO!" Ed shouted. "Winry, you wouldn't tell me 'no' would you?"

Roy shrank away from Riza's death grip and looked up at her, pleading for some reprieve. "I swear I didn't think he'd react...ouuuuch."

Riza dug her fingernails into him and glared.

"NO." Winry called from upstairs. "Don't come in here, I'm trying on my dress."

"No? You just said no!" Ed shrieked.

Al shook his head. "Times like these I'm actually glad I moved to another country."

Riza let go of Roy's arm and he rubbed his shoulder gratefully. He looked up at her, "What?"

"You of all people know _exactly_ what he's going to overreact to." Riza snapped. "I watched you instigate and manipulate that young man for years!"

"He'll be fine. Winry knows him better than anyone." Al chuckled. "So about my speech. Do you remember what you said in your best man speech?"

Roy rubbed his shoulder and wondered if he had bone damage. "I actually made it up on the spot. We got hammered the night before at Maes's bachelor party and I think I gave it to some girl to write her phone number on and then things got fuzzy after that."

Riza shook her head and closed her eyes. There you go! Way to be the man to look up to Roy.

"However I was partially sober by the time we got to the reception. I just talked about the academy, how the first time we met I hated him. We competed with each other and we hated each other. Until this one time I got myself in trouble trying to stand up for what I felt was right and he had my back. "

Riza opened her eyes and looked down at him. Al had the same intrigued expression on his face as she did. Well that could very well summarize the majority of Roy's friendships.

Roy set his coffee cup down. "Do you have anything stronger to drink?"

"Just some wine we got for the wedding, some champagne too." Al said.

Roy stood and patted Riza's hand that was resting on the top of the chair. "I'll go get Fullmetal and we'll do some wine tasting and see if I can't deaden his nerves with alcohol."

Al looked up at Hawkeye as soon as he heard Mustang marching up the stairs to get the whiny Ed away from Winry's bedroom door. He softly said, "I hope I didn't say something that upset him."

"It's just hard on him, knowing how much Hughes would like to be here Saturday." Riza explained. It was hard on him any time he thought of Hughes, more so when he imagined how the man would be reacting at an event like this. Especially when these were _his_ kids too, and they were all grown up and he was missing out. _Especially_ when Elicia would remind them that she was supposed to be the flower girl at Uncle Roy's wedding first.

* * *

"I really don't drink." Ed looked in the wine glass and frowned. He glanced at Mustang who was already on his second glass. "I think you drink enough for both of us and probably a small nation."

"You're missing out." Roy was really surprised that the local wine was good. Ed had done some bartering with the local winery and utilized Al's alchemy to get some repairs done for them. Probably killed him to not be able to do it himself. Still, he was impressed with how little they spent on the wedding thanks to trading alchemy lessons and repair for supplies.

"On inebriation?"

"On this beverage."

Ed tasted it and frowned. "Then you can have mine."

"I'm surprised you haven't died of dehydration yet." Roy took the offered glass and leaned back against the house. They were both sitting on some straw bales that were either decoration, insulation or seating for guests. "If you don't drink milk or booze. How are you still alive?"

"If you drink so much booze, how are _you_ still alive? I surprised you haven't died of alcohol poisoning yet." Ed snorted. "Your liver is a medical marvel."

Roy smirked and finished his glass so he could set it down beside the bale and not look like such a lush. "What's the saying, 'a lesson without pain is meaningless'?"

"Yeah." Ed watched him take another drink.

"Well I've had too many lessons and something's got to drown out the pain." Roy rolled the stem of the glass between his fingers. "So what's the problem, Ed? Why did you want me here earlier than everyone else?"

Ed toyed with his sleeve cuff and debated on whether or not he really wanted to give him a line or be honest. "You'll tell me if I'm about to screw up. Like really far in advance. You're an early warning system, an obnoxious, insulting alarm."

Roy tried to laugh. Instead, he ended up choking on the wine he was currently trying to swallow and then ended up snorting some of it through his nose. He coughed and waved off Ed's concerned. "I wasn't expecting that."

"Clearly." Ed smirked. "Hows that wine taste now?"

Roy smiled. "Gives a whole new meaning to letting it breathe."

Ed sat there for a minute while Mustang tried to casually clear his nose of fermented grape smell. "I guess I just don't know who else to ask. Sorry."

"No need to be. We both know Hughes would have been the better man for the job." Roy rubbed his nose once more and just gave up on the notion of smelling something other than the wine of Resenbool for a while.

"My Dad left and my Mom missed him a lot. She had this glow about her when she talked about how much we were _just like him_ and I hated it. I wasn't going to be like him. I wasn't going to abandon my family, like him." Ed plucked at the straw bale. "Winry's got these good memories of her parents and she liked hearing their history. She has these great stories about how they met and their wedding. She's got real standards to measure me by and I have the absolutely lowest standard I've set for myself. They were heroes and martyrs, Hoenheim...just wasn't there."

"Ed, my parents died when I was young. I don't have any memories of them. I grew up in a brothel and I have a rather cynical view of marriage because of it." Yeah, _that _was the only reason he was bitter about marriage. He started to raise his glass to his lips, then stopped. "Hawkeye... lost her Mom and her father was a piece of shit. She won't be much help."

"But you two..." Ed trailed off when he saw Mustang swallow the rest of his wine like a shot of bourbon. No, he was going to say it. "You never left each other. You never gave up on each other. If there has been one constant reminder that there are people who really won't abandon one one another no matter what the circumstances, it's been you and her. So, yeah, Hughes might have been great and I miss him a lot...but I'm not that kind of perfect either. We're not traditional anything and I guess, well, it's not as easy for some people to figure things out like it was for Hughes."

"I like that my screwed up relationship is one step above your Dad on your admittedly low standard scale of marriage." Roy groaned.

"Don't twist my words, asshole." Ed grabbed the wine bottle he was reaching for and put it out of his reach. "It was a compliment."

"Then I retract my statement." Roy cleared his throat. "You _do_ need my advice."

Ed narrowed his eyes at him. He knew when Mustang was winding up to pitch an insult. "Oh?"

"If you're going to have a successful marriage..." Roy paused and then gave him a smile. "You better start working on your compliments, because they suck."

"You dick."

"Your insults suck too." Roy snorted. "Did you learn anything _at all _while you served under me?"

Ed plucked some more straw from the bale and wondered exactly how this didn't feel weird. Him and Mustang, talking like they were friends.

"Look, you're already doing it right. You're doing everything I should have done and you're on track to have that joy Hughes had. You don't need to be asking me for any advice." Roy looked at the empty glass and thought about his best friend, how easy it would have been for Hughes to give Ed some rousing speech about marriage and weddings and all the best advice in the world. How much he would have loved to give them both this talk. "From the very beginning of my friendship with Hughes, and I do mean the_ very_ beginning of it, he knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted a family and that was what he was going to fight for. "

"Doesn't surprise me."

Roy leaned back against the house and looked out into the distance. Sheep grazing on the hills and the sun peaking through the clouds on the quiet countryside in a perfect picture of pastoral peace. "It was back in basic training and we got into some trouble, earned some demerits for picking a fight and had to dig a hole outside the dorms. To this day I can't figure out why. We almost hit the gas and water lines while we were out there digging this foxhole. Shit, I bet the pit is still there."

"I'm surprised you didn't go inspect the place and chew out the guy in charge." Ed snorted. "General Asshole."

"Riza won't let me." Roy shrugged. "Anyhow we're these three eighteen year old kids with shovels, pickaxes and bruises who didn't have a clue how easy it would have been to unleash hell with a misplaced strike on a pipe. We didn't know each other so we started talking about why we enlisted. Maes says he's going to protect the woman he loves and that's why he joined the army."

"I didn't know he knew Gracia that long."

"He didn't." Roy snorted. "The jackass had Heathcliff and I thinking he was this amazing selfless guy, and then he adds, 'Well I just haven't met her yet'. We laughed so hard we got to paint the barracks in addition to our existing punishment."

"Who is Heathcliff?" Ed asked.

Roy pointed to his empty wine glass. "That, Fullmetal, is going to require more wine to unlock that story."

Ed handed him the bottle he was hiding. He too was lacking friends these days. With Al in Xing, he really leaned on letters to converse with friends he took for granted when he was a State Alchemist. He knew Mustang was missing a few people on his staff from the old days, most notably Havoc. Once he regained the use of his legs he wasn't so keen on the idea of going back to a war-zone and remained in East City to open up a new location for Havoc's General Store. He assumed that Hawkeye was his best friend now, just like Winry had become his, but there was so much you didn't want to burden the person you loved with. He watched Mustang pour himself a fourth glass of wine. Holy shit. This asshole was now what he considered to be one of his closest friends. When did that happen?

"Heathcliff Erbe." Roy began and ran his hand through his hair. Another face that haunted his nights, another man's ghost who walked beside him as he set foot on the sands of Ishval every morning. "Was an Ishvalian cadet, looking to try to represent his people in the Amestrian military."

Ed's golden eyes grew wide. Oh hell, this is why he didn't have friends! Somehow he always made people talk about the horrible things they had done and made them feel like shit.

"We stood up for him that day and then years later we met again in Ishval. When I was helping to erase his people from the face of the earth. He shot me, Maes shot him. I lived, he died. I lived and went back to work and so many more died." Roy lifted the glass and looked at the sun filtered through the red wine. "I said I wanted to help people with alchemy and protect my country from all our enemies. That was the Amestrian dream for me. Maes, just wanted a family. He watched me destroy so much with my alchemy, our own citizens and lands, and just wanted to go home to his beautiful Gracia and forget it all. I guess...we know how that worked out. It's why I don't really believe I am entitled to that dream. You _are _entitled to that , Ed. With everything this world has taken from you and what you have fought to defend, you deserve that perfect life with the woman you love. Forget about what vows people want to hear, get up there and tell her you want her more than anything you have ever fought for."

"Are you drunk?"

"Not even close." Roy replied and finished glass number four. "However if you repeat any of this to anyone I will certainly say I was."

Ed looked up at the clouds and remembered when he, Al and Winry used to lay in the tall grass and she used to point out shapes she could see. He thought he'd always have Al to talk to, but now he found it hard to ruin their short time together with talk like this. Well, maybe it was more like he didn't want to ruin Al's happiness with what was bothering him. Al deserved to not worry about him. Mustang, however, seemed to be well acquainted with questioning himself. "I can't believe you actually answered my question."

"I can't either." Roy looked over at him. "What question?"

* * *

The day drew to a close and after a delicious dinner and hours of reminiscing in the living room, everyone finally retired for the evening. Riza had already showered and went to bed, Roy stayed up a little longer to listen to the radio to unwind for the evening. As soon as the evening news assured him that nothing was amiss in Amestris, he clicked off the radio and found his way to their room.

Roy closed the door behind him and Riza clicked on the light so he could find his suitcase in the strange room. He gave her a smile of gratitude and pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the chair. Next he lifted his dog tags off and dropped the necklace on the dresser while he kicked off his shoes, then dropped his pants letting them fall down to his ankles. He set each foot on the chair to take off his socks and turned to Riza who was already snuggled up in bed wearing his dress shirt from earlier. He was well trained at this point, just like her dog. He'd leave a shirt out for her and be sure to come to bed without socks or dog tags. Check her posture in bed to see if it was the day this week she was in the mood for sex, then either remove his boxers or leave them on and climb into bed. He didn't need to look, they both knew there would be no fooling around this weekend, but it was an ingrained habit and he did it anyway.

Riza smiled as Roy crawled into bed and slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. He pulled her close to him and settled his head down into the pillow, just close enough that she could feel his warm breath on the top of her head but not so close he'd suffocate in her hair. She entwined her fingers in his and squeezed his hand, waiting on the gentle squeeze back before she closed her eyes. "I love you."

"Love you too." He squeezed her hand again and just enjoyed her presence for a little while before he rolled over to his own side of the bed to sleep. Perhaps he should just be happy with this because it _was_ good. Sure it wasn't everything he wanted but he was lucky to have this much. Very lucky. Maybe it was time to learn how to be content and stop trying to take more. Riza didn't want to give up her position as Captain Hawkeye to take on the role of Mrs. Mustang, and he didn't blame her. He wasn't the one down in that hole when he was eighteen declaring his dream was to have a great family and protect it. He declared he was going to protect his country and told her that as well. So maybe it was time to remember that the first commitment question he ever asked her was "Will you follow me?" and not "Will you marry me?".

Riza heard his heavy sigh and felt him tug on the blankets and push around his pillow. She knew him and his habits. She knew that this wasn't physical discomfort, since he fell asleep on trains and in the office all the time, but mental discomfort. It wasn't that she didn't expect this, weddings cause people to reflect on their own lives, but it hurt because_ she_ was causing this. It had been horrible to say 'no' to him, she wanted that family and future too, but she always had to be the one to keep him on track. He was always so focused on her so she had to remind him to refocus on what mattered. She had to keep pushing him, they were almost there! Almost to the end where his goals could finally be realized and he would have what he wanted. She just asked herself if there would be something new that would materialize as the new goal after he was Fuhrer. Would she be able to leave his side then? When he was at the top and the easiest target? When would she let go and finally relinquish control of his safety?

Roy stared at the picture on the nightstand. A young couple and their happy little girl standing outside their family home. The Rockbells, another family just like the Hughes, destroyed by just being involved in something they believed in. He reached out and put the picture down, not wanting to be mocked in the darkness. She turned out the light now that he stopped flopping around trying to get comfortable. Then he felt her hands on his shoulders, the gentle rub of her fingertips as she checked his body for signs of his stress level. She was worried because he clearly was thinking too much to sleep. She knew his quirks and mannerisms so well, better than he knew himself.

Riza ran her hand up his neck and through his hair, her fingers combing through it for a few moments before she moved closer to him. She pulled him back towards her, laying him flat so she could lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Her fingers lightly tracing the clavicle that had taunted her earlier. He wrapped his arms around her and she kissed his chest. She couldn't help but ask herself, why was it easier for her to follow him in to hell than into happiness. They kept putting _them_ off until that day when they had accomplished everything...but how much longer was that going to be?


	3. Echoes of Our Past

_Until That Day_

Chapter 3

**Echos of Our Past**

* * *

It had been ages since she woke up to the sound of a rooster crowing instead of the obnoxious ringing from an alarm clock. Riza didn't open her eyes but let a soft smile form on her face. It brought back memories of a simpler time, a time when her life was run by mother nature and the seasons instead of the military. The rooster crowed again and Roy stirred. Her smile broadened as she recalled how much he hated a rooster waking him when he was an apprentice. Usually it took an act of God to wake him on a day off, but clearly that rooster was something she might have to get a recording of for future use.

Roy cringed as he heard it again: that horrible yodeling from that worthless bird. He had successfully managed to remove that irritating memory from his recollections of the past and forgot how damned much he loathed that sound. However, now he could fry that damned thing where it perched with just a snap of his fingers, unlike his attempts to silence the Hawkeye's rooster when it woke him every damned morning.

Riza felt him bury himself further into her chest before pulling the blankets over his head. She pet his head and whispered, "It won't stop."

"It better." Roy mumbled. "Or I _will_ stop it."

She heard the bird crow again and him grunt under the blanket. She felt bad for Ed, he was going to be the recipient of Roy's foul mood this morning. Actually she felt bad for all of them since they would have to listen to the two childish men banter back and forth trying to use the word 'cock' in as many suggestive ways as possible before anyone could have a second cup of coffee.

Roy huffed and threw off the blanket as he heard the rooster broadcast the time of day again. He felt Riza's hand run through his hair, as he lay on her chest. Usually this was how he woke up if he had some nightmare that forced her to give up her much needed rest to comfort him. He rarely woke in this position if he had a peaceful nights sleep. If he awakened with his arms around her or his body cocooned in all the blankets, it was safe to say he only kept her awake by trying to squeeze her or freeze her to death. "I kept you up last night?"

"Go back to sleep." She replied. There was never a night went he didn't wake her at least once. Either he would try his chances with affection to see if maybe she changed her mind about sex, cuddle her to the point of suffocating her or steal the blankets and leave her shivering. On bad nights he woke her with nightmares, but she couldn't complain about any of it. It was no wonder he slept like the dead in the office and was hard to wake in the morning, his nights were rarely ever a good night's rest.

"Does that mean you're going to shoot that rooster?" He picked his head up and set his chin on her sternum, nestling his head between her breasts. His sleepy eyes begging her in the darkness to take pity on him and eradicate the destroyer of silence.

"No." She felt him crawl up a little further to get closer to her face. She knew what his next suggestion was going to be. "I don't want to have sex either, so go back to sleep."

He still placed a light kiss on her lips before re-situating himself beside her. Then the rooster crowed again. "We could have him for breakfast. "

She rolled on top of him and said. "_No_. No cock of any kind for breakfast."

"What else are we going to do before dawn?" He asked and wrapped his arms around her as he contemplated his options. "We're on vacation."

"Go take a shower? Start coffee?" Riza then whispered, "Go milk the cow."

"Ugh." He recalled the days of his youth spent learning alchemy and farm skills. "Only if you do it with me."

"Roy, I said no sex."

"You clearly have it on your mind." He mused and started to wrap a strand of her hair around his finger. "I wasn't asking for that, I was asking you to help me milk the cow. You should be ashamed of that dirty mind of yours. Talking about cocks, then I start talking about getting my hands on a big pair of teats and you..."

She kissed him to stop him from talking. She knew he could feel her smile. It was amazing how this one man made her experience the full spectrum of emotions during their time together. Life would not have been this full with anyone else. She knew that when she said she couldn't imagine life without him it meant two things; If he died she would lose a part of her soul with him but if he was never in her life she would have never known some of these feelings. Life without him would be empty either way. She tried to remind herself of that when he squeezed her boob. "Fine. I'll do it with you."

"Really?" He asked hopefully and quickly got his finger out of her hair to assist in freeing her from his dress shirt.

"Yes." She sat up and reached for the light. "Let's go milk the cow. But let's make it interesting. I challenge you to a race."

The light clicked on and he heard the rooster crow, but didn't think about singeing it's feathers off. There sat Riza, her blond hair a mess and her eyes blinking at the sudden addition of light in the room. Beautiful as always. Especially with that mischievous smirk. "A milking race?"

"I haven't done it in years, you might stand a chance."

He grinned. "What are the rules?"

"First one to fill the bucket wins." She said knowing that he'd try to cheat.

"What do I win?"

She laughed as she slid off the bed. "You're so adorable when you think you stand a chance of winning."

* * *

Ed rubbed his eyes as he saw the milk bucket on the kitchen table with his name written on it in chalk. He glanced at Mustang as the man smiled at him over his coffee cup. "What's this?"

"Milk." Roy ruffled his wet black hair to make sure to shake out some more water after his shower. He took another swig of coffee. "Fresh squeezed."

Ed stepped back from the bucket of disgusting white liquid. If anything made it worse it was those words. Wait. Mustang milked a cow? "Did you...use alchemy to get this out of the cow?"

"That's ridiculous." Roy smirked. "We went about it the traditional way: warm hands stroking those swollen teats until that creamy white stream of rich milk hit the bucket. Milky, delicious fruits of our hard labor."

Ed stared at him in horror as Winry came downstairs and looked at the full milk bucket with bright eyes. "You disgusting old man!"

"You're going to be fun at the bachelor party." Roy snorted and went to refill his cup.

"Disgusting?" Winry asked. "He did my chores for me! He's a saint!"

"Patron saint of perverts!" Ed snapped. He narrowed his eyes at Mustang as he went about his morning routine. Bachelor party? In Resenbool? He frowned as he realized the rest of Mustang's team was arriving on Friday after work. Mustang was just joking right?

"Ed, grow up." Winry huffed. "Thank you very much. You really didn't have to do this, you're a guest here."

"He probably didn't." Ed said. "He probably made Hawkeye do it and took credit for it."

"No, we both milked the cow." Roy said and gave Riza a triumphant smile as she emerged from the bathroom with a towel around her shoulders from her shower. "Though, she just helped because she got shot in the eye with some milk because of her unsafe milking practices."

Riza glared at him. _Damn him_, that cheating bastard. "Declaring a veterinary emergency and saying 'See the teat hole has something in it, it's plugged!' and squirting me in the eye is not anything but childish and unfair."

Roy chirped a giggle and then cleared his throat when the three of them looked at him for that unmanly sound. "Nothing childish about the way these hands know their way around a pair of..."

"Just stop!" Ed waved his hands in the universal sign of defeat. "Oh my God it's barely dawn and you two just overloaded the atmosphere with your weird sexual tension and creepy antics. Just stop."

Winry smiled when she saw how red Ed's face was. "Thank you both for helping."

"That cow is probably traumatized." Ed mumbled.

"What else can we help with?" Riza asked. She was actually enjoying the break from routine and Roy finally relaxing. She also wanted to even the score.

"You can peel potatoes for hash browns or help me separate the cream ." Winry suggested and watched Ed's chore evading grin emerge on his face.

"Taking a shower!" Ed waved and reached to the kitchen hutch and threw a potato at Mustang. "Looks like it's up to you, General."

Riza went for the milk bucket. "I don't need to remind you how useless you are when wet..."

Roy went over to get the basket of potatoes and leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Darling you never need to remind me how excited you get about cream, but we both know I'm never useless when_ you're _wet."

Riza flushed and slapped him on the arm. "Get to work."

Roy's smile faded when Winry dropped an apron and knife on the table for him. "Why do I suddenly feel outranked?"

"Peel them outside." Winry said as she went to the refrigerator for eggs. She watched him leave and Riza brought the bucket over to the sink. "So they never grow up do they?"

Riza shook her head. "Not those two."

Winry poured a cup of coffee. "You really love him don't you? That's why you joined the army, to protect _him_? He's that _someone_ you had to protect?"

Riza was glad the guys at the office were never this direct. They never dared to be. "Winry, I appreciate what you're trying to do..."

"I understand why you can't say 'Yes'." Winry said sadly. "All those times Ed broke his automail or ended up in the hospital...waiting on a phone call to hear his voice. Just to know he was Ok. I understand why you can't say 'Yes' to him. He's a bigger target than Ed being a General and State Alchemist looking to be Fuhrer. Even with the monsters gone, people can still be worse. "

Riza looked at the younger woman and wondered why she was the only one who understood in this world. Was it because their two idiots were so stubborn and so similar?

"It's just..." Winry looked outside at Mustang donning an apron to start peeling potatoes for breakfast. "It's just hard to watch you two and not want you to be together. Especially when we come down here for breakfast and for the first time since my parents left...well it's going to feel like a family. Don't get me wrong, it's not like my Granny isn't my family, but it's different. It's different when our parents were waiting for us to wake up and greeted us. When we didn't know how cruel this world was. I'm sorry, it's just having you two here it just makes it feel like it used to."

Riza looked at Winry who was no longer that little girl she met years ago, but a strong and confident woman. She had to be, because her parents never came home. Riza remembered what that was like, going to the cemetery and coming home to a silent house and realizing your childhood was over. Wanting to be strong for the only family you had left, so you took charge and accepted adulthood without a fuss. She also remembered what a warm kitchen was like when you woke up to the smell of breakfast and no worries...not empty chairs. "I know what you mean."

"It's hard to know you two won't get married because you're already so good at it." Winry didn't want to push, she just felt like explaining herself. Yesterday they had been so excited to poke and prod for information about the couple that she didn't realize that they might have had reasons for not getting married. They ignored Riza's attempts to dismiss it, but clearly Roy wasn't ashamed to admit what they were. It was even harder to watch them this morning, clearly having a relaxing vacation in the country. It stirred up memories for her of her own parents.

Riza looked at her as she stared over at the room where her parents used to sleep. "It's not an option for us. We've chosen a different path."

"I know. I understand. I had to stay at home and wait for news." She sighed. "I'm sorry for what we said yesterday. I didn't realize it was your decision. I know it wasn't easy. "

"It wasn't." Riza looked out the window at Roy sitting on a bench next to the pump house, leaned over peeling potatoes. He would be an amazing father, nothing like hers, and she'd love to wake up to that warm house again. But still...

"Sorry, I didn't mean to start off the morning like this but I just couldn't sleep last night thinking about it. " Winry began to crack eggs into a bowl.

Riza nodded. She really couldn't sleep last night for the exact same reason. "No reason to apologize, Winry, I wasn't exactly forthcoming with information."

"It was personal."

"You invited us into your home and life to celebrate your wedding. I think I owe you a little more honesty since you're treating us like family." Riza rubbed Ed's name off the milk bucket. "It's just not very easy to turn off the routine. We have to be careful still, even if we've gotten a little lax thanks to being in Ishval."

"Lax?" Winry asked and beat the eggs. She was dying for more information, she loved her life here but it was lacking in gossip.

"We're living together." Riza said and looked out the window again as Roy tried to feed potato peels to the chickens. One kept trying to jump on his lap. "It's hard to figure out where to compromise. We were prepared for a different future when he was blind, but after his eyes were fixed...well they were fixed on the top again. So we've made a small advancement but still can't really take another step further."

"I was surprised when Ed wanted to get married." Winry said and set the bowl of eggs aside then made sure Ed wasn't coming out of the shower yet. She lowered her voice. "I thought he'd want to travel more, live the life he couldn't live because he was searching for a way to get their bodies back. I thought once he was able to move freely, he'd keep moving. He's restless and I know there are still going to be stretches of time when he has to leave...but that's a compromise I'm willing to make. I don't want to hold him back, even if I want him to stay safe. That's what I love about him, as much as it frustrates me sometimes."

Riza watched Roy throw a potato at the rooster and thought about Winry's words. It was odd that she could connect with this girl she hardly ever saw, but couldn't seem open her mouth when Rebecca asked her what was going on with her and Roy. Perhaps it was because Rebecca wanted answers she didn't have, and Winry understood that there was no right answer sometimes. Was she the one refusing to compromise? Roy had provided solutions, he said she could just transfer to a different division like intelligence and still remain stationed in Ishval. He wouldn't be her supervisor, Armstrong would be in Central. After all the conniving and manipulating he did in his career, certainly she couldn't be upset about him choosing to do that for her? Or was it something else? She heard the bathroom door open and pushed away her thoughts for now. This wasn't the weekend to worry about that.

* * *

_Ishval, 1917-Six Months Earlier_

Roy looked out his window in the officer's quarters and took a deep breath, he hated to admit it but he loathed this damned desert. Yes, he was back here to make things as right as possible. Ishval was never far from his mind or his dreams, but he still hated it. The horrible heat, the unforgiving sun and the memories that accosted him around every corner...his own personal hell.

He hated this place, but that did not mean he hated the people who managed to make it a home. They were a resilient group of people who survived despite the persecution from their fellow countrymen and the punishing climate they were forced to reside in. In the last two years of reconstruction he had learned so much about the Ishvalian culture that he questioned if he ever knew anything about them at all. Then again, he never wanted to. The last thing a soldier should do was humanize the enemy.

He watched the dust storm block out the setting sun and wondered how much longer he was really going to be able to put things off. His life was that setting sun and the dust of this desert was threatening to consume him and block out what glimmer of light he had left to look forward to. "Riza?"

"Dinner isn't ready!" Her voice carried through their small accommodations. "Stay out!"

He frowned. He had already had his hand slapped by a wooden spoon six times while trying to sneak a taste of her pot roast. His stomach growled thinking about it and his eyes looked down into his wine glass. He was apparently being "moody" in the office so she had surprised him with a nice home cooked meal tonight. They had been living together for a year now. At this point they did very little to hide their relationship other than the usual professionalism, apparently his display on the Promised Day had broadcast their relationship to the world. Well that and nobody cared all the way out here as long as they didn't flaunt it.

Riza checked on the bread again and caught sight of Roy trying to be stealthy as he entered the kitchen. She heard his glass meet the table as he set it down and wasn't surprised when he walked over and placed a light kiss on her neck. She leaned into him as his arms wrapped around her waist and smiled. "Still not ready."

"But I am."

"Roy..."

"I'm not talking about dinner, I'm talking about us. How long are we going to wait? Riza, I want to get married before I'm too old to carry you over the threshold without breaking a hip or we're too old to have kids." He hugged her tighter and rested his chin on her shoulder. This wasn't the first time he had asked her to marry him. The first few times were more spontaneous, pure perfection as far as proposals go, but each time he was met with a refusal. The first time was devastating, as he spent weeks planning it and was beyond excited that the time had finally come. He never expected to see her hesitate, her emotions play out over her face as she tried to let him down easy. Always the same answer and always the same reasons, but he kept trying. Now he was down to just pleading with her to consider it.

"We talked about this." She said softly.

"I know. It's been two years and it will be two or three more before we can even think about being finished here. That's still no guarantee that we'll be able to leave. I know Lieutenant Colonel Miles will be more than capable of handling the command but I have to convince Central of that. Plus, we both know your grandfather isn't just keeping the Fuhrer's chair warm for me. He is pretty content being in charge. Having me here and Armstrong in Briggs while both our names still have tarnish from the Bradley coup...well he's lacking any opposition. Especially after so many high ranking officers were toppled after Bradley was exposed." He smelled her freshly washed hair and knew he was just rambling. She knew all this and reiterating it wasn't helping persuade her of anything.

"Your goals..."

"My goals...as soon as I reach one a new one takes it place." He let go of her and leaned against the counter. "I finish here in Ishval, I have to secure a transfer out of here. Then I can't just walk into Central and take over, not when I have had may hands in a reconstruction that this country doesn't even care about. The people of Amestris care about rebuilding Central, rebuilding the government and the farthest thing from there minds is spending their tax dollars here. In fact, _Grandpa_ really did a great job of making me the public face of this campaign so everyone knows who to blame."

"You're opening trade to Xing." Riza turned to stir the green beans and hoped she could lead him away from his original topic. She really didn't want to talk about this right now. He was already in such a sour mood, the last thing he needed was her refusing to marry him one more time.

Roy recalled an interview with that _Central Times_ reporter from the previous year when he was called to report to parliament on his progress. Mathew Harper was the best the paper had for a reason, he got down to the real issues quickly. First question was if this assignment was his exile or expiation. It went downhill from there. Harper might as well have been the spokesperson for the populace so Roy had no delusions about how hard this climb back into contention for Fuhrer would be. "Riza, I'm not looking for help with my next speech...I want to talk about _us_. There's no mysterious force in control of our government and Grumman's not going to order me to annihilate a ethnic group. The country is better off but..."

"Are you telling me you no longer want to be Fuhrer?" She asked and checked the bread.

"No.." He huffed. "However all I ever hear is I'm not old enough, too immature to take on the leadership role that is required of the position. Too young? God, I feel like we've lived a hundred lifetimes with everything we have been through. I feel old. The scars, the joint aches, the damned glasses I have to wear...I feel like we're running out of time."

"I thought you said we didn't need a marriage certificate to be what we are." Riza put the bread on the counter to cool.

"We don't but things have changed." He looked her in the eye. "We had to settle for what we could do then. Now I want more, I want the woman I love to be my wife and to have a family we can call our own. We saved the word, it's finally a place I can feel right about bringing a baby into."

She shook her head. "We can't."

"Stop letting me ramble on about my feelings while you just try to counter my statements with reason." He sighed. "This isn't the office. Tell me what you think Riza, instead of just playing verbal chess with me and countering my moves to calm me down."

"It's our lives. I can't protect you if I marry you. I have to quit my job and leave it to someone else to watch over you. That would kill me." She knew he had been torn up about this since Edward's letter arrived announcing his wedding. They watched Ed grow up and now he was getting married before them. Roy's feelings were justified and she shared them, but her job was to keep him focused. She knew how easily she could distract him. "I can't be happy knowing you're out there by yourself without someone watching your back."

"So your official word is that you can't marry me because I'm an idiot?" He rolled his eyes.

"You think I want to wait in this apartment for you when you walk out that door every day? Hope that you'll come back, hope that someone will know you well enough to protect you?" She asked. "You are a lot of work, Roy. More so in a hostile environment where you are public enemy number one."

"Then tell me what you want. Do you want to wait until I retire to get married? Should I make plans right after the retirement party...but just before they lower me into my grave?" Roy grumbled. "This is one of my goals, hell it has been since the day I left for the academy. I wanted to be a better man for you and you've kept me on course. I just feel like...it's falling out of focus."

"Do you believe I don't think about this too? How we're running out of time, how_ I _might be running out of time? You're not the only one who wants this." Riza wrapped her hand around his and brought it to her lips, placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles. Hands that were now starting to develop arthritis thanks to his Promised Day injuries. "This however is something we both have to do to atone for our sins. Both of us. This isn't just another one of _your_ goals that I will support you on, this is something that I also have to see to an end because I spilled blood here too. We'll never get forgiveness, we'll never forgive ourselves, but we're doing the only thing we can do to try and make things right. You forget, we share the same goals."

"You're right." He mumbled and looked over at the counter. "What can I carry to the table for dinner?"

"Roy, just because Ed is getting married and possibly going to be having kids doesn't mean you have to compete with him."

Roy chuckled. She knew that wasn't the reason, but it was a humorous end to the discussion she really wasn't interested in having. "You're right. I'd hate to have kids on the sheer principle that an Elric would finally be taller than a Mustang."

Riza swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat. It hurt her more than he knew to read that letter with him. Her own emotions had sent her stomach into knots, but to see his face...that hurt and pining look on his face was something she never hoped to see again. "Roy?"

He turned to look at her and saw in her eyes how painful her next statement was going to be to vocalize.

"Can you stop asking?" She bit her lip, hating that she was saying this. "About marriage? It hurts to have to say no."

He nodded and carried the pot roast to the table.

"Roy.."

"I understand Riza." He just couldn't turn to look at her. Of all the painful things they'd been through, he never expected this to be one of them. "I won't ask again. I promise."

She opened her mouth to tell him that wasn't what she meant but it was clear that they both had enough of this discussion for the night. So she turned on the radio to allow the news to fill the deafening void that would linger until they finally went to bed. She closed her eyes and put her hand at the base of her neck, where her fingers were over her burn and her thumb over the scar on her neck. She wondered why he loved her when all she did was ask him to do the most painful things for her. "I love you, it's just not the right time."

"Saying 'yes' doesn't mean you have to marry me tomorrow." He served the pot roast while she lingered in the kitchen. "It's just something to hold on to, until that day when it's possible."

"That's not something I want to hide." She walked over and put her hand on his arm and leaned into his shoulder. "It's a turning point in our life when we can finally stop fearing that our relationship will damage your future. I won't say 'yes' because I'm not going to hide it like I'm ashamed of marrying you. I want to fully enjoy it, because you mean that much to me and the world should know that."

"It's _our_ future, Riza." He said softly and turned to bring the pot back into the kitchen. "Remember that we have the same goals. At least I hope we do."

"I want to, but it's just not the right time." She said again and he sat down across from her and gave her that understanding smile. That one he used when he just wanted to be done with a conversation and she gladly complied.

* * *

AN: The potato/turnip peeling thing is another official sketch. Too good not to use.


	4. Evasive Manuevers

_Until that Day_

Chapter 4

**Evasive Maneuvers**

* * *

"Coming to supervise me?" Roy sat on a bench with a basket of potatoes beside him. He had peeled about half already and had them sitting in a bucket of water while he completed his task. He grinned at Riza as she walked over and looked down at him, the morning sun peaked around the edge of the pump house and caught her perfectly in it's light. Not that she could look anything but perfect, light or dark, but he could appreciate mother nature all the more when the sun's rays caught Riza's wet blond hair and made it shimmer. He didn't even notice the coffee in her hand until she almost shoved it in his face.

"You're getting your work done, I think breakfast is a pretty good motivator to keep you working." She watched him set his potato and knife down, wipe his hands on his apron and take the coffee mug with a grin of gratitude.

"Well now that I have a distraction..." His smile turned into a pout as she turned around to go back to the house. "So what else do you have planned for the day? Now that the milking is done and breakfast started, anything else on your agenda?"

She looked at him over her shoulder and wondered what he was really asking. "We're here to help with the wedding. It's not my agenda we're adhering to."

"We should go for a drive." He sipped his coffee and she narrowed her eyes at him. "Drive, not exploration of the back seat of the car, you pervert."

"You're in quite a mood this morning." She said and watched that innocent smile play across his face. There was nothing so phony as Roy Mustang pretending to be innocent.

"It's my only chance to spend some time with you that doesn't require roasting in the desert sun or looking at endless sand. Reminds me of when we were young, the country that is. I'm also having a hard time being bombarded with the fact that our kids are all grown up and I'd like a little reprieve from that by pretending we're young again."

Riza whipped her head around quickly so he couldn't see her hurt. _Pretending we're young again_. Their military life helped them keep the shroud of denial around their eyes, all they ever heard was that Mustang was _so young _to be in the position he was in_. Too young_ to take on the responsibilities he was vying for. Their military life helped them maintain the illusion that they still had time, but stepping back into civilian life ripped that cloak of deniability from their eyes and showed them exactly were they stood. He was right, it was a hard reality to swallow. _ Little_ Edward was getting married and when they met that little boy for the first time they thought they had all the time in the world. Time however, like the sands of the desert they both were so tired of, slipped through your fingers so quickly you didn't notice until you started struggling to keep it in your hands.

"Riza?" Roy saw her posture change as soon as those words left his mouth and knew he had said the wrong thing. He walked over to her as she stared at the back door of the Rockbell's mulling over his words. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, placing a light kiss on her neck and nestling his head against hers. They were out of sight of the kitchen window and any windows on the house, he could afford a few moments of tenderness without ramifications. Especially after he slipped up and said the wrong thing. "Sorry, I didn't mean..."

"Don't apologize for the truth." She whispered. "I never want you to apologize for being honest with me."

"I just wanted to enjoy a little time away with you, that's all." He closed his eyes as she placed a kiss on his cheek.

"We just got here." She looked at him as he picked his head up and smirked.

"I'm not used to having to share you this much."

She wanted to ask what he planned on doing when they had kids, but there were conversations they couldn't casually have anymore. Not without getting his hopes up. "Hurry up and finish those potatoes so we can eat."

He let her pull from his grasp and enter the house. Yeah, because family breakfast wasn't going to make it harder on them to accept the fact that this was just never going to be a reality for them. He went back to his bench and saw that rooster eyeing him and wondered if he could convince everyone they wanted barbecue chicken for lunch.

* * *

The Elric brothers descended upon breakfast like locusts and Mustang was appalled that nobody called them out on it. Ed was shoving pancakes in his mouth by the handful and Al was trying to shovel a mixture of hash browns and eggs into his mouth so he could race for second helpings before his brother could beat him to it. Apparently they didn't grow up _that_ much. Roy finally sat his coffee cup down and barked, "Sit your asses down and eat like normal adults. You're both acting like savages!"

Riza shook her head as she scrambled more eggs for the ravenous boys. The Ed and Al froze in place and stared at the man who suddenly assumed command at the head of the table. In an instant they both looked like kids again, especially with pancake and fried potatoes falling from their mouths. She glanced at Roy who was staring them both into compliance. Al was the first to slink back into his chair and wipe his mouth with the napkin. Ed however took a few bites and stood up straight.

Through a mouthful of pancakes Ed said, "You're not my supervisor."

Roy cocked an eyebrow. Ed spit out more pancake than words but he got the gist of it. "Nope, but she is."

Ed's eyes grew wide as he turned and saw Winry, hand on her hips and a frying pan in her other hand. He sat down immediately, wiped his mouth and started chewing as fast as he could. "Sorry Winry. It's good."

Winry resisted the urge to smash him in the face. It would ruin the wedding pictures.

Mei laughed and fed her Panda some leafy greens. "Just wait until Ling gets here with his tapeworm, you'll be lucky if you have any food left."

Riza refilled Roy's coffee and smiled. The kitchen was full of life and noise, giggles and threats alike, and it was going to be hard for all of them to part ways again. "When is he arriving?"

"Lan Fan insisted they arrive unannounced," Al responded, "but he announced it would be Friday evening."

Roy noticed Ed was putting fresh whipped cream on his pancakes. "So you want more pancakes?"

Ed nodded. "These are awesome. I had no idea you could cook. I figured you were useless in the kitchen just like everywhere else."

Roy leaned forward to get up and put his palms on the table. A devilish grin cross his face right before the bowl of cream exploded in Ed's face. "Oh...look who forgot I don't need transmutation circles."

Ed wiped the cream out of his eyes and growled. He saw that smug smile and wiped the cream from his hands on the pancake. Then he picked it up and flung it at Mustang's face. He smiled with satisfaction as it slapped him in the face, cream side first. "I don't need them either, asshole."

Riza watched Pinako grin and puff on her pipe, clearly enjoying the antics but not wanting to admit to it. Al and Mei giggled and continued with their breakfast, but were moving all plates and bowls closer to their side of the table in the event that an all out food fight developed. Riza saw Winry raise her frying pan, no longer interested in preserving her fiance's skull for the wedding pictures. It was time for her to step in, as always. "Boys, that's enough. Go clean up and if there is no food left when you get back it's nobody's fault but your own."

* * *

"It would be easier to read if you put on your glasses." Riza watched Roy squint at the speech Al had written, trying to pass it off as not enough light in the room.

"I'm able to read it just fine." Roy said and stuck out his tongue at her. "This lamp is casting shadows."

Al smiled as they bantered back and forth like an old married couple. Back when he was still in his armor, he was usually overlooked as a part of furniture or considered older than he actually was. Team Mustang always snickered or made off color comments about the Colonel and his Lieutenant and it all went over his head in the beginning, then he too saw what they all called "treasured RoyAi moments". As glad as he was that those days were over, it was hard to not look back at the good times and want to relive them.

"Then what does it say?" Riza said as she held his glasses up to show him an incorrect answer would mean he forfeited his right to be stubborn.

Roy sat up straight and looked at the paper. The words were fuzzy and he was going to have to try pretty hard to pull this off. "It's been a long journey. My brother and I left our home once vowing to never come back. He burnt it down because he really envied the Flame Alchemist and wanted to grow up to be _just like him_. His hero, a man who saved him during his darkest days and gave him a reason to live."

Al laughed and heard Ed scream from the next room. "That's not even close, but nice try General."

Roy pulled away from Riza as she tried to take the speech from him. He kept 'reading' as Ed's angry face appeared in the doorway. "It was impossible, because to grow up to be like anyone would mean he would have to _grow_."

"What would you know? All you do is _grow_ older." Ed snapped.

Roy stood up and lifted the paper above his head so Riza couldn't get it. "I Alphonse, the taller Elric, am happy to give my brother away today to be the new Mr. Winry Rockbell."

Al grinned as Hawkeye poked him in the gut and shoved him back into his chair. "Also, not quite what I was going for but I'll take it under consideration for the next draft."

Ed snorted. He wished he could fling an insult about getting married first but he wasn't going to stoop that low. "Who couldn't wait to use circeless alchemy this morning? Huh? I'd say someone was pretty jealous of _my_ ability."

Riza slapped Roy in the head and then put his glasses on him. "Stop being such a child. These make you look more dignified than that damned mustache you tried to grow if we're going to talk about stunted growth."

Roy frowned as she left the room with a frustrated huff and he let the glasses slide down his nose to look at the grinning Elrics. "What? Have something to say?"

Ed shook his head. "Nope. But I need Al to help with Winry's dress."

"Oh no." Al shook his head. "I'm not going to take the chance that what I do will ruin something. I mean what if I miscalculate? The dress could be short. There is only a small amount of material remaining and I'm not going to take the chance."

"Shut up Mustang." Ed said as he noticed the man's eyes light up as he heard his two favorite words: small and short.

"I said nothing." Roy feinted hurt. "Clearly you do not deserve any of these kind words your sweet little brother says about you in his speech."

Ed glared at him and went back to pleading with Alphonse. "Look, I already drew out the transmutation circles and all you need to do is activate it."

"Oh no." Al said and shook his head. "I've seen your work and taste in clothes. I'm sure it's going to produce some red Gothic dress that is gaudy and horrible. Nope. Ask Mustang."

"Seriously? Let that bastard even think about Winry...or her dress and how tight...NO!" Ed stomped his foot and folded his arms.

Roy put the paper down and took off his glasses. "What the hell are you implying Ed?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Ed stood up straight and broke out his Mustang impersonation that had been shelved for too long. "Oh hey there pretty girl, I'm the local pervert Colonel Mustang. You're so cute and pretty, so am I! Want some help being hot, you can ask me because I'm the Flame Alchemist and I know how to be hot without being scorched. Ha Ha! Here's my number in case you like older, _taller_ men."

Roy threw his glasses at him and watched him catch them. "I never said that!"

Al shook his head. "You both are so dramatic."

"Take your glasses back, old man." Ed threw them at him and was surprised when they got thrown back at him immediately. He was careful to not let them fall, he was a little worried about how Hawkeye would react to that.

"You're the one who needs them! Talk about being blind!" Roy snorted. "The whole point of that conversation was to make you realize your girlfriend, oh I'm sorry "mechanic", was now not hid away in the country but in the damned city where _everyone _was going to be hitting on her!_"_

"Including you." Ed threw the glasses back at him.

"Al." Roy stood up and handed the paper back to the younger brother. "Be sure to keep that part about him burning your house down so he could be like me. We are going to go upstairs and ask his future wife exactly how that conversation went down."

"Please." Ed snorted. "You burnt your childhood home down long after I destroyed mine. You're the one who got the idea from me!"

"Yes, you invented the idea." Roy rolled his eyes. "I'll pay you royalties for using your copyrighted material. Can I borrow 520 Cenz?"

* * *

Winry sighed as Riza attempted to help her with the neckline as Pinako tried to find any more scraps of fabric to add to the transmutation circle now drawn on her bedroom floor in chalk. Mei giggled and swung her legs as she sat on the desk, all of them listening to the 'conversation' drift up the stairs from the guys in the study. "So Riza, this was how it was for years with them working together?"

Riza stood up and stepped back to see if her adjustments helped any. "Worse. You have to remember they were both younger and cockier back then."

"I'm so sorry." Winry mumbled.

"Don't be." Riza unpinned the piece of fabric and threw it onto the ground with the rest of it. She heard Roy's steady and heavy footfall as he marched up the stairs, always a soldier. Ed however was clearly bouncing around as he insulted him as she heard his bare metal foot hit the wooden treads occasionally. "I was happy Roy would have someone his own age to play with."

Winry chuckled and turned as she heard a knock on the wall. "Come on in."

"Don't you dare!" Ed tried to grab Roy's shirt and choke him.

Roy shoved him away as he was being choked. He coughed out, "Don't...look..at bride. Bad luck."

"You better not either!" Ed screamed.

Winry sighed. "Knock it off!"

Riza watched the two separate and Ed cover his eyes to avoid being yelled at further. "Can you just fix this and go back to whatever work you weren't doing?"

Roy pointed at Ed. "He started it."

"You did!" Ed kicked out at him. "By hitting on Winry! You better not be looking at her or you're going to be blinded again really quick."

Roy watched the blond wave a pen at him menacingly. "Pen is mightier than the sword? Look who's useless now. You were more threatening as a cripple midget."

Ed prepared to stab him but was clocked in the head by a shoe.

"I said enough!" Winry stomped over and shoved Ed out of the room and slammed the door. "Can you fix my dress?"

"What's wrong with it?" Roy asked and immediately felt the stares from the women in the room. He knew when to say no more.

Riza walked over to the bride's side and locked eyes with Roy. "It's too low cut. So can you adjust the neckline and raise it about two inches? We added enough fabric to avoid having the dress shortened so no miniskirts."

Roy knew that look. The look of 'if your eyes wander anywhere you will pay dearly for it'. "Sure."

Winry walked over to the dressing screen and heard Ed knocking meekly at the door. "Stay out Ed!"

"I'm not OK with you being in there with him! Do you remember when he hit on you!?" Ed scratched at the door like a puppy that had been locked out. "How he was an old pervert and asked you out on a date?"

Winry rolled her eyes as Mei helped her unzipper her dress. "I can't believe I'm marrying that idiot."

"And this is how you get doujinshi." Roy crossed his arms and leaned against the dresser.

"Shut up Mustang. You're the one in the wrong here." Ed growled.

Winry got dressed and came back out. "Ed, come in here."

Ed cracked open the door and peeked in. "Not sure I want to."

"All I remember is you fuming and him looking fatter than he was the first time I saw him." Winry said and handed Roy the dress. "Sorry."

"Fat?" Roy gasped. "Fat!"

Ed chuckled and walked in the room. Well this was turning out to be better than expected.

"I really didn't think anything of it. To be honest, your little hissy fit was embarrassing me so I didn't really pay that much attention to what he was saying." Winry shrugged. "It's normal that adults tell you you've grown up to be pretty and grown up so fast."

Roy chuckled. "Hence the reason you misinterpreted it Ed. Since you never grew."

"Can you fix my dress now?" Winry asked and pointed to the circle on her floor. "So I can mop my floor?"

Roy stood and looked at the circle. "You can erase that. He's trying to cover you up like a nun. That circle will get us both killed and not in some horrifying alchemic explosion either. More of the 45 caliber or 20mm wrench variety."

"Really." Winry put her hand on her hip and watched Ed slink back towards the door. "I showed you the dress so you could help me fix it, Ed. You know I'm trying to go the traditional route here and play by all the rules. Rule one is the groom isn't supposed to see the bride in her dress before the wedding!"

"I didn't see you in the dress!" Ed defended his actions. "I saw the dress and...you said the neckline was low."

Roy took the scraps while everyone was distracted and placed them on the desk with the dress. A crackle of alchemic glow was the first sign anyone had that he was up to something. Before they could turn around he had the finished product in his hands and was placing it Mei's arms. "Glad I can save the day, as always Fullmetal. Anything else, you know where to find me."

Riza shook her head. "Maybe it is time for a drive, it's not even noon and you've filled your quota of yelling for the day."

Roy grinned and followed her out of the room as Winry lectured Ed about the dress and told him to get a mop.

* * *

The drive lead them to a hill where they could see most of the county. It was green as far as the eye could see and the rolling hills were beautiful, especially since they were out of the car and Roy wasn't driving like a maniac. Riza knew better than to let him drive, but he was sitting there behind the wheel with his driving glasses on looking so damned cute and she let him have the keys. She knew better.

As they left the Rockbell home he proceeded to make her sick to her stomach by pinning the speedometer and flying up and down the hilly dirt roads of Resenbool. The car was airborne more than once and he laughed like a little boy as the suspension on the vehicle took a beating when tires met the road again. When they finally came to a stop, _he_ took a beating and she cursed him for almost getting them killed. She confiscated his glasses and keys, refusing to allow him to have them back until he was back in Ishval where he could play in the wide open desert. Now she was calm and no longer queasy, so taking in the breathtaking views allowed her to enjoy the time alone with her General instead of wanting to strangle him. The winds blew and the grass moved like waves and the sounds of nature was all they could hear, until Roy started to munch on an apple as loudly as humanly possible and she looked over at him.

"What? Want a slice?"

She looked at his smile as he wiped off apple juice on his sleeve. He was sitting there in the grass with his sleeves rolled up and just looked at ease. This whole day he had been so playful and relaxed, it reminded her that their lives had become so stressful and tense. It was to be expected when he was the commanding General in Ishval, but there was so much more to it; it had somehow invaded their personal lives as well. The atmosphere in the desert was charged with emotion from both sides and they didn't even have a sanctuary at home anymore. He shouldered it without complaint, so she didn't see how heavily it bore down on him until now. "Sure."

He pulled out a knife and cut her a slice of apple. She grinned at him and took it. "I remember sitting on a hill like this when we were kids."

"I'm surprised you remember that." She said and took another piece of apple that he offered. She remembered him whining because his city boy shoes weren't meant for hiking a few miles. She remembered thinking she was going to have to bring him home like a felled deer, dragging him behind her with a sling.

"I remember all our moments with perfect clarity." He said and took another bite. "All of them. Even the horribly awkward ones."

She turned and watched him smile . She never doubted she would end up with him. Even in their most awkward moments, even when things should have been embarrassing...somehow they were never driven apart. It only made what they had so much more special because of that trust and comfort. "This is turning out to be a nice vacation."

"I could use a lot less yelling." He said and threw the apple core into the bushes. "However it was a nice morning. I love how you still know your way around udders."

She laughed and finally crawled over and pinned him to the ground. "That cow was mooing pretty suggestively at you, General."

"You'll have to assert your dominance and tell her I'm already taken." He grinned.

Riza ran her finger over his lip and chuckled. "Why does it feel like it's been so long since we could sit and laugh like this?"

"Because it has been." He admitted sadly.

"Because of me?" She asked, even though she didn't want the answer.

"No, because of where we're at. Ishval weighs on us, it's like we have past, present and future all crushed into the same space everywhere we go." He focused on her and saw she was contemplating something which stopped him from starting an analogy about compressed gases and density. Just because chemistry relaxed him didn't mean it didn't bore her, even if she enjoyed listening to him. Still her eyes weren't glazed over with boredom, she was searching his face for something and seemed like she was on the brink of a revelation. "Why? What's wrong?"

"This morning, breakfast..." She hesitated to say it because it would open up wounds but she knew it was the right thing to do. She had to be honest. "It was family. I want that. I want to have you cook beside me and have someone other than the dog to play with. I want that but I don't know how we can where we're at."

"I want that too." He said and gave her a smile. "So why don't we figure out how to make it happen instead of just coming up with reasons why we can't do it?"

"It's not that simple."

"Are you happy?" He asked. "Not just because you're alive and we're not hiding anymore, I mean are you _really_ happy?"

"Saying 'no' to you..." She swallowed hard. "Haunts me. Every time we see some kids playing I think of what you could have if you just loved someone else. That if I would just let go of my insecurities..."

"I don't want this with someone else, I'm enjoying this life because you're here with me." He said and gave her a kiss. "Stop avoiding the question. Are you happy?"

"I want _this life_ with you. The home, the peaceful drive, the food fights...you happy to be alive again because life is more than just mileposts you've set for yourself." She said and tried to hold back tears. "I just don't know how we can make it happen."

"You're not in a long-term, semi-illegal relationship with a General for nothing." He said with a smile. "It's not like I got those promotions with_ just _my good looks."

She smirked at him and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Wow." He said with a mock sigh and shook his head. "I see how it is! I'm just your... "

She laughed and kissed him. They hardly had these moments anymore. He was right, the place they were stuck in right now was hardly optimal. She was happy he was alive and she was happy to be with him, but was she happy with their life? Could she really say that the last six months of walking on egg shells was healthy and happy? How did they get to this place, especially after everything they went through? How did their road just lead to another spot of darkness, one that seemed stagnant and worse than the secrets they had been hiding before? "You're my everything. I'm not happy. I love you, I'm so happy to be with you but the fact that the next step isn't there for us...it's a shadow over our lives. I miss this. I miss sneaking away with you and leaving all the worries and gloom behind us and just being us. I miss you, because in trying to protect us I've scared you away. You're afraid of hurting my feelings or saying the wrong thing and that's not good. I just don't want to hurt you any more than I already have."

"Just tell me you want me to figure this out and I'll do it." He said and brushed her hair from her face, awaiting her decision.

"Yes." She said and closed her eyes. "I feel so selfish for wanting more, but I don't want to be stuck in this part of our lives forever. You're right, just because we finish in Ishval doesn't guarantee we can move on. We're at a crossroads now, where we have to choose to make work revolve around us or give up _us_ to work. I've seen what we could have this weekend, I've seen how good we could be if we could leave work at the end of the day and come home. I want that."

He brushed a tear from her cheek as it escaped her shut eyelids. "I'll figure it out, Riza. The next time you hear a proposal from my lips it will be a plan to make our future a reality."

* * *

AN: The 'Mustang complimenting' Winry like a perv is a manga panel.


	5. Don't Over-Complicate Things

_Until That Day_

Chapter 5

**Don't Over-complicate Things**

* * *

Riza should have found it comforting that Roy was staring out the window thinking however she really wanted to hear him talk things out. She had just taken a huge chance in asking for the next step in their relationship and she felt like she should be involved in his thought process. She didn't want to make it sound like she was placing the burden on him to come up with a solution that would meet her approval. She just had come to rely on his brilliance, as they all had, he could so easily formulate a plan with so little to go on. She expected him to already have the answer and his silence meant that he was having to think of something.

As she swerved to avoid a pothole she anticipated a smart-ass remark about her driving from the man beside her, but he remained silent. She could feel her palms sweating on the steering wheel as she began to worry about what _exactly_ she had asked Roy to do. He had already asked her to marry him and been met with rejection. Now she was asking him to construct a flawless plan that would allow them to be married, something that his happy future was now riding on. If it wasn't a sound plan, he'd meet with another 'no'. Why the hell was she doing this to him? This was _their_ relationship and yet he was the one who had to find a way to negotiate the treacherous path on his own. That was not how their relationship worked. "Talk to me Roy. I didn't mean to make it sound like I wanted you to do this on your own."

He turned to her and gave her a smile. "Give me some time Riza. I want to propose right this time. "

She looked over at him and said, "Roy, they were all perfect. Every time you asked was perfection. You never even had to ask, I've always been..." She didn't want to say _yours_. It was a simple over-used statement of endearment, but to him he'd see it as possession.

"Waiting for me?" He said before she could finish her sentence. "Waiting for me to come back from the academy so your father could die before I asked him for your hand? Waiting for me to decode his research so I could make a life for us? Then you had to wait for me to come home from the war. Then you waited for it to end and just settled for working beside me. Forever just off to my side and never able to step out of the shadows and put us first. Hell, even after everything we've been through I'm still making you wait. So yes, I deserve every one of those rejections because I always chose something else over you. I've been telling you 'no, not now' since we were kids and it's about damned time you showed me how it felt."

She finally pulled over and put the car in park. Of course he would blame himself, he was such a damned martyr. "No! I was going to say that I've always known I'd spend my life with you. I wasn't waiting, I was _watching_ you get further away because of how life took you down a road that battered you and wore you down. I came after you because I couldn't stand to watch you rake yourself over the coals for everything."

"Riza Hawkeye, you are the most amazing woman in this world: beautiful, dedicated, brilliant, talented and patient. I tortured you by asking you to be selfish and ignore our work and careers in order to embrace our relationship. I should have been figuring out a way to make it work instead of designing some proposal you had to refuse. So I'm going to get it right this time, for all the times that I let you down and left you waiting...or watching."

"That was not what I meant!" She slid over on the seat to sit next to him and wrapped her hands around his. His hands that had been pierce by swords and carved on . Both times to save her; once when she gave up on life against Lust and the other when she was clinging to life and praying he wouldn't make the mistake that would destroy him. She ran her thumb over his scars and hated that he couldn't just be happy. "I have never been upset with you for following your dreams. The only reason I left that house was because there was nothing I could offer you as support. I didn't get tired of waiting, I got tired of not knowing who I was. You inspired me to move forward, I wanted to have something I believed in so strongly that I could dedicate my life to achieving it."

"You were the strong one, seeing you manage your father and his house at your age...made me realize that alchemy wasn't going to be the answer. At least not by itself. It's why I left to join the military. I realized I need to be better, stronger like this amazing girl who helped me through my apprenticeship. The incredible friend who somehow found a way to fix the house, hunt,prepare dinner, trade for hay and food and still sit with me and help me with homework. A girl who didn't have alchemy at her fingertips, but still was so incredibly strong." He wove his fingers into hers. "I wasn't worthy of you because I still didn't know who I was other than some weak boy with a talent for alchemy. You've always known how to show me I was useless. "

She looked at that grin and wondered how they never talked about this. He didn't mean it as an insult, he was just trying to make a joke but it still wounded her.

"You climbed into the loft to fix roofing slate or wiggled into the crawl space to fix pipes, you never hesitated to get the job done. You never complained that you didn't have the right materials, you improvised while I stood there. " He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and smiled. "It's why I don't deserve you if I can't prove to myself I've become a better man. I didn't realize when I proposed I was just standing there waiting for you to make things happen. I know you too well, if I don't come up with a decent plan you'll be there to call me out on it. That's why I have to be the one to do this. I have to show you that I made you wait for me to become a man worthy of you, not because I was too scared to risk losing something I couldn't have. You're not asking too much, I should have never made you ask."

"This isn't what I asked you to do."

"I'm not upset and you haven't tasked me to take on some huge responsibility. You're asking me to figure out how to make a life for us and I think that's a major step that I missed when I decided I wanted to get married. We can't just leave work at the door and go home to a family, we have to figure out how to integrate our goals and our lives. I've never truly understood that that's why Hughes had it so easy, how he could just push it behind him and embrace his family with those blood-stained hands. It was denial, compartmentalization...he made amends by being that loving husband and father and making sure his family never knew the horrible things he did to keep them safe. We can't do that, we share that past and it's always a part of us. It's why we have those goals we so desperately want to see to fruition. It's why you can't say 'yes' and I have just been ignoring that major factor in our life. There is no pushing it aside, not with us. So we have to find a way to make everything co-exist and also not be our parents."

She bit her lip. They really did have a lot of baggage. So many reasons she had used as to why they couldn't get married. She just decided to blame their goals instead, it was easier than acknowledging the problems that plagued them.

"I guess I didn't realize it until I was talking with Ed, how we both have these standards we've set for ourselves because of our parents. How I've spent half my life welcoming death as a punishment for what I did, but how I fear dying and leaving you and our kids alone. Remembering how my parents were killed and your mother died. How I've accepted that death is a fitting punishment...by my hand, yours, an Ishvalian or even our own justice system. It's been something that was a constant until the Promised Day then I found out that justice comes in many forms. Death was too kind, however ripping someone from me that I needed to make life bearable was more cruel."

"Something." She corrected him and his eyes glanced down at her and he shook his head.

"Some one. _You_." He pointed to his eyes. "Blindness...It would have been a nuisance but I would have made do. You however, losing you would have taken the life from me. Living without you...I wouldn't have lasted long. So now I have to see my future differently, one in which survival for my family is a priority. It's not something I've really thought about, at least not since I left for war the first time."

She swallowed hard and he smiled at her, touching her nose with his finger. She was glad he didn't miss, his eyesight could be problematic when he tried cute things and it wouldn't have been the first poke in the eye she received.

"I got on that train to Ishval with the words of a beautiful blond bouncing around my head as she told me not to die." His smile lasted only a second before he sighed. "Then when I realized that I betrayed your trust in me..."

She pushed his hand away from her face and kissed him. "Roy Mustang you frustrating man...why can't you tell me these things when you're not trying to propose to me?"

"You carry enough on your shoulders." He stroked her hair and rubbed his thumb over her cheek. "So next time I propose, you deserve to know that I'm as investing in our future as I am in the country's. That when I ask you to be my wife, that I want to move forward with every intention of starting a new life with you. That I'm dedicated to life and not just a life sentence. So, I need to figure this out for me as much as I do for you."

She scooted back over to the drivers seat and he gave her a smile before staring back out the window. She too needed time to think because he raised a lot of good points as he wasn't the only one who felt that way. They both were redefined after Ishval and he was right when he said there wasn't an expectation of a happy ending. She understood it, but it didn't mean she had to like that he felt that way. She put the car back in drive and they drove in silence for a while. She replayed his words in her head and wondered why they could never have an uncomplicated answer to anything. Her thoughts were interrupted as they passed by the former Elric home and she saw Ed standing there staring at the rubble. She nudged Roy and he stirred from his thoughts to give her a puzzled look as she stopped the car. "See if Ed wants a ride back to the house."

Roy knew the kid didn't want a ride, he was just trying to find somewhere to be alone with his thoughts. "He can walk."

"Just ask." Riza said and watched the pout begin to form on his face. "Roy, it's his weekend. Our problems can wait a few more days if need be."

"You want me to go out there and argue with him so you can sit in here and think." Roy frowned. "You're just trying to get me out of my mood. I'm wise to your tactics, Miss Hawkeye."

"Fine, I'll ask." She glanced at him and he gave a heavy sigh before opening the door and getting out. He was right, but it didn't mean that she was going to admit it. She didn't like how this was going. She knew better than to lay this on him and now she had to figure out a way to fix it.

Roy stretched and walked across the road to pick a short fight with Ed so he could return to the car and get back to his own problems. He wondered why he opened up and said all that, but he wanted it to be reassuring. Instead he apparently gave Riza more reasons to worry about him. "Hey Fullmetal. Need a ride?"

Ed glanced over at him and then looked back to the car. Riza waved and he got his explanation as to why Mustang was being so thoughtful. "No, I walked here and I can walk back."

"I agree." Roy said and went to turn around and head back to the car before he realized Riza was right. It was Ed's weekend and they were here to help him, even if he didn't want the help. He sighed and looked back at the kid. "Are you planning on moving back to the old homestead?"

"Winry was asking what I wanted to do with the property." Ed said and plucked blades of grass as he knelt in front of the ruins of his childhood home. "If we might come back here and build our own home someday."

Roy looked around at the remains of the Elric house had been untouched by anything but nature since the boys took it upon themselves to destroy it. There was a mixture of charred wood, cracked slate and natural debris that marked the site. The walkway was overgrown and as he turned to look at the property itself he saw a garden overtaken by weeds. He thought he could count on Ed to just tell him to go to hell and he could walk back and think without Riza glancing at him every second. Instead Ed wanted to talk because his parents were dead and he was feeling disconnected to a place he should be able to call home. Oh, and somehow at some point they became friends. So if this was Hughes here, he wouldn't have hesitated to sit down and ask what was bothering him. Hmpf, "Well? Are you comfortable with that? It is your home after all, but you did burn it down for a reason. Or at least I hope you had a reason."

"We burnt it down to remind ourselves we couldn't come back." Ed didn't even know what he was saying anymore. He had no idea why he was taking to Mustang about this. Well, what choice did he have? He didn't want to upset Al or Winry and he wasn't finding any answers talking to himself. He had no idea what was even bothering him, he just was so stir-crazy at the house that Winry finally told him to go for a walk. He looked up at his home and spoke the words that had been rambling around in his head for the last hour. "I burnt down my home and now I'm back."

Roy shrugged. "I don't know what you're asking Ed. I know I burnt down my childhood home, but it was a whorehouse. Plus my Mom is happy she's getting a new bar in a better part of town."

"I burnt it down to make a point to Al. To show him that he was all I needed. That all we had was each other and I was going to take care of him. It was Al who was tied to this house more than me and he seemed to have happier memories of than I did. All I could see was Mom was dead and Dad made her wait for him and he never showed up. I just needed to make a point that our past didn't matter, that we were going to keep moving forward until we got our bodies back." Ed said and knew he was just stating past facts, not an answer to the question. Though Mustang made a grunt of understanding so maybe he was making sense after all.

Roy cocked his head and leaned on the old brick wall. "And now Al doesn't want to come back now that your journey is complete. So, what you're really asking is...do you want to be tied down to a home again?"

"Yeah." Ed said it and just stared at the pile of debris that used to be a house. Memories didn't fade even if the structure was nothing but ash. So what the hell was the point? "We just kept moving around, we never really stayed anywhere long enough to even remember a phone number."

"I know." Roy snorted. "It was always a pain in the ass to find you two. I stopped having Havoc call around the military dorms looking for you and just let Breda keep tabs on you through the newspaper."

Ed smiled as he recalled those days. Mustang might have made him a dog of the military, but he never kept him on a leash. He was allowed to run the countryside and cause problems, something he never appreciated at the time. "I'm worried that I maybe I did too good of a job of staying unattached to a place."

"You're not second guessing your decision, you're evaluating yourself and determining if you're ready for this huge change." Roy said trying to alleviate the awkwardness. "It's normal to have cold-feet before your wedding, Ed. You should have seen Hughes."

Ed laughed, despite feeling weird about having this conversation. "I can't imagine that."

"I wasn't prepared for it either." Roy ran his hand through his hair. "I arrived early, took my vacation so I could spend a week with my best friend, and I wasn't expecting that. Maes Hughes, from the first day we met was going to have a family. That was what he wanted. However that week leading up to the wedding, he questioned if he was good enough for Gracia and if he could put his past behind him. "

"Is that why you and Hawkeye never..."

"No." Roy said a little too sharply and saw Ed tense. Well shit, the kid didn't realize he was stepping into a minefield with that question. Dammit, why did Ed have the most uncanny timing? Of course it was one of the reasons he and Riza were having issues but still...it irritated the hell out of him it was clear to Ed and not them. Why did fate keep making him the man who had to talk people into marriage? Fate apparently was an asshole just like Truth. "Well maybe. It's mainly because of our jobs. This isn't about us though."

"I burnt this house down to keep us moving forward and I come here every day to remind myself of that." Ed finally sat down in the grass. "Except that what I see is that I'm the one coming back before my journey is done."

"So this about your alchemy?" Roy asked.

"I miss it. I'm an alchemist and I can't use alchemy. I don't know what that makes me." Ed hung his head and closed his eyes as he finally voiced what he had been dreading to say. He didn't have to explain it, Mustang understood that statement clear as a bell. "I miss it and the adventures we had. Me and Al and hell, I guess I even miss reporting to you. I miss meeting people and helping them, the search for knowledge and all the things we learned and...the adventure. I miss the thrill of alchemy and being famous. I don't miss the bad parts, but I guess I just don't think about them until I get mad at myself. Then I think of Nina or Hughes and get myself back on track."

Roy picked at some loose mortar in the crevices of the old wall and cursed himself for forgetting that Ed was a soldier after all. "It's not abnormal to recall memories like that. You can ask any veteran about stories and they'll tell you about the good times they had with their comrades. It's how you keep those bad ones buried. It's how you rationalize what you did by convincing yourself you were a war hero and you did the right thing."

"Is that why you're a cocky asshole?"

"No it's why I'm a suicidal self-loathing piece of shit." Roy snorted. "God Ed, we all put on our fronts to try and power through life because it's the only option. You manage your past, you either win or lose that battle. You never win the war. "

Ed looked up at him finally and swallowed hard. "I want to enjoy the adventure without the threat of impeding doom or losing my brother. Is that selfish?"

"Then why are you getting married?" Roy asked. "You're young, Ed. You have plenty of time for that. Nobody is going to fault you for wanting to live the childhood you didn't have."

"It's what I want." Ed snapped. "I want to marry Winry."

"You're not making any sense. What is it that you want because you can't have both?" Roy prodded.

"This quiet life, it's suffocating. I thought it was the reward." Ed said and shook his head. "I just don't see where I fit in. I don't belong here, I don't know what to do without alchemy. Al's not part of my life anymore...who the hell am I? I'm writing my vows and I want to tell Winry that I have this clear picture of the rest of our lives but I don't. I don't even know what I'm doing now! I thought getting married would fix that, that it would be the next stage and magically answer all my questions but it's not. Being married isn't an occupation. I've always been an alchemist, even as a kid. I'm lost without that identity."

"Life isn't alchemy. It's not exclusively about equations and reactions, it doesn't make sense." Roy watched Ed's gaze turn to the house and waited for the revelation. "Shit, I don't have the answers Ed. Riza's waiting for me to figure the same thing out and go back to that car and tell her we can finally move on. Unfortunately, on this battlefield, I am just as lost as you are."

"I don't want to be like Hoenheim. I'm scared I'm going to break Winry's heart like he did Mom's. If I don't know who I am now, how can I commit to giving her my life? I don't even know what it is myself, how can I know it's worthy of the life she's giving me. Equivalent exchange. I'm giving her an unknown and she's giving me a known pure element."

"I know that we base our ideals of marriage on our parents and our close friends. My parents died when I was young and they weren't even military. Riza's mother died and her father just never recovered from that. When we think about marriage, we both have our own experiences in our minds. I worry about leaving a kid orphaned because I am a huge target. Riza will protect me at all costs. She worries that if something happened to her or me that we'd turn into her father. You can rationalize all you want, but we compare ourselves to our parents."

"I'm afraid of becoming Hoenheim." Ed asked the words suddenly allowing him to comprehend his fears. "That I will just leave to go on a quest and abandon her."

"So we finally get to the root of your problems."

"Shit." Ed hissed and ran his hands over his eyes. "Fucking hell."

"See, just like old times." Roy snorted and Ed flopped back onto the grass and looked up at the sky. "Me telling you something and you cursing at me."

"Are you going to say something brilliant? Some obvious plan that will convince me that I can do both?" Ed asked. "Isn't that what you do?"

"In this situation we have to be honest and certain of the path we're taken. They love us Ed, they see right through it if we're lying."

"I know. Winry's worried. That's why I come here." Ed sighed heavily. "It used to be quiet until you showed up."

"Glad I showed up or you'd still be without an answer. " Roy smirked. "I can't help you with this as you have to come to terms with it yourself. Stop over-complicating everything. This really doesn't have to do with your specific past or family, it's just you having to become an adult. Life sucks, it strips you of your ideals and plans and makes you work for better things. You're looking behind you and seeing your freedom of your youth and looking ahead to responsibility and permentantly fixing yourself to a location. All this is about is marrying the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. You figure the rest out as you go. Damn Ed, you took down a God and you're going to fall apart over getting married?"

"You dick." Ed snorted and said, "What about you?"

"I don't think Winry cares much for taller men." Roy quipped.

"Shithead, I meant you and Hawkeye." Ed sat up and a smirk appeared. "Why can't you guys figure out how to do both? Why the hell can't you figure out how to get married?"

"I'm working on it." Roy said and finally just decided it was better to tell the kid so he could get him off his back. "If I can figure out a way to not compromise our jobs while still getting married than she's willing to take that next step."

"Why don't you_ just get married_?" Ed sat up and looked at the guy. "Talk about making things more complicated than they need to be. I mean, the military can't undo your marriage, so why don't you just elope? Hell, there's a wedding go on this weekend that everyone you know is invited to, just walk down the aisle after us."

Roy now understood how Ed destroyed everything on his way to completing a task. "Two things you're forgetting: This is your wedding and it's not a community affair. Two, your bride will kill you."

"No she wouldn't." Ed snorted. "Winry isn't like that. She'd be happy to help you guys out. All I care about is getting married before you, so as long as we keep to that schedule I don't see what the problem is."

"Ed...that's not going to happen."

"You didn't say it was a bad idea." Ed smirked now that he saw he had the other man fidgetting. Two could play at this game. "So, General...are you telling me that the military has a problem employing married people?"

"Well no but..."

"So it would be like eloping, what are they going to do? Make you divorce?"

"No but..." Roy grumbled.

"Maybe it's a solution you haven't considered. It's a surprise to everyone." Ed said and forgot that as open as they had been over the past day, they really weren't that good of friends that they could talk like this. Not like how him and Al would talk. They might have taken down a God and Bradley's regime together but that was a long way from personal issues. Then again, until now he wasn't exactly aware of Mustang's personal issues.

"Quit trying to distract yourself from your own problems with mine." Roy said and put his hands in his pockets.

"Listen asshole, I don't have anyone else I can talk to." Ed snapped. "Al doesn't need to feel guilty about moving on. Winry doesn't need to feel like she's the problem. I can't burden Al with something like this because he shouldn't have to keep a secret from Winry. I'll tell them when I figure out what the right thing to say is! So talk, talk like you're an alchemist and we're trying to figure out some equation or research. Just talk."

"Believe it or not, I was 18 once." Roy said hotly. "And I had an amazing girl who I was in love with and I decided that I was too young. I didn't have anything to offer her, just some stupid idealistic dreams, so I went to the academy. I also wanted to learn more and help people, save people like my parents who were killed during some political unrest. She had shown me that alchemy wasn't the answer to everything and I really didn't have a decent skill set outside of that. So I joined the army and passed up a chance to learn _with her_ instead of going off on my own and having the world crush everything I thought to be true."

"What happened after that?" Ed asked. He remembered when Izumi had driven home the point that alchemy wasn't everything, that strength of body was just as important as strength of mind. Apparently Mustang didn't have a teacher who believed in training him beyond just books and science.

"I graduated and returned to ask her father to finish teaching me Flame Alchemy. Being a soldier wasn't good enough, a Lieutenant's pay wasn't going to be enough to support a family. At least not to the standards I wanted for her. I wasn't going to let her want for anything again. A State alchemist and Major's salary, well that was different. However the son of a bitch chose _that day_ to die. The day I came to ask for his daughter's hand." Roy snorted. Irony was an asshole, just like Truth and Fate.

"What happened to her?" Ed asked intrigued. He couldn't imagine a young Mustang, even if he had a clear image in his head from the pictures in Hughes's house. Less grouchy, love-struck idealist Mustang must have been a interesting guy.

"She's in the car wondering why I haven't returned with a plan and asked her to marry me." Roy answered.

"Holy shit! Hawkeye was your teacher's daughter!?" Ed screamed and birds flew out of the trees around them.

"Nothing gets by you."

"You guys have known each other forever!" Ed finally looked over at Mustang and raised his eyebrows. " She was your teacher's daughter!? You were childhood friends? "

"Something like that." Roy said and looked at the house. The Hawkeye homestead was still standing but probably wasn't in any better shape than the pile of debris in front of them. He really kept her waiting too long. He could picture Riza's face as she stood at the train depot as he prepared to board his train back to Central after his apprenticeship ended. He wanted to ask her to wait, but he wanted to offer her more than just a promise. Like Ed said about his vows, equivalent exchange was all he saw. An amazing, pure and incredible woman needed more than some fool chasing a damned dream. "Just get married, huh?"

"You've been through worse times, what's the military going to throw at you that you haven't been through already?" Ed said.

"Ed." Roy stood up straight and looked down at the young man. "Why don't _you_ just get married. You've been through the worst, life's already taken so much from you that this single step won't be your downfall. You're strong kid and when you falter there's going to be someone by your side to carry you. Just get married. Don't make her wait and watch you walk away. She wants to be there with you for this journey, beside you."

Ed watched him walk off and go back to the car where Hawkeye was waiting. "Hey, aren't you going to wait for me and give me a ride back?"

"No." Roy called back. "Last time I drove you somewhere you made outrageous demands and refused to give me my money back."

"Asshole."

Roy made his way back to the car and Riza's eyes locked onto him as he smiled at her. He opened the car door looked at her and sat down. "What would you say if I asked you to marry me this weekend? And by that I mean, walk up there to the alter after the reception and _just get married._ Would you say 'yes'?"

Riza wished that she was more surprised at his plan or the fact that he just came up with one ten minutes after having a heartfelt discussion about his guilt on the matter. It was, however, just Roy's standard operating procedure. He could be overwhelmed with his own emotions one minute and clear eyed and all business the next. She was used to him pushing past the overwhelming and focusing so intently on a problem that the genius could surface above all the demons. So she shouldn't have been speechless but she still sat there staring at him.

Roy wasn't sure if he didn't make himself clear enough, sometimes when talking with other alchemists he tended to speak and talk differently because they thought on a different plane. So when he heard no reply, he made the move to explain himself better. "If we just _get married _and show up Monday as husband and wife...what can the military do about it? You can just transfer to another division and not be under my command, I'm not beyond calling in favors from your grandfather for that. That will be the only change that will be needed, you working under a different supervisor who doesn't report to me. There won't be anything to reprimand us on because we won't have an open engagement or give anyone a chance to say anything on our decision. What do you think?"

She had to admit her heart fluttered when he said husband and wife. She swallowed and looked out the window to think about it.

Roy felt like he had finally found the answer he was looking for and he kept talking, a happy lit to his voice as he realized the answer to his problems was the easiest answer. He over-complicated everything. "Why not make the military scramble to figure out what to do about us instead of constantly working around the laws and regulations to stay together? The fact is that there is nothing they can do because we have married personnel and regulations on the books for those circumstances. We're here with our friends this weekend. There's already a wedding planned and I think Fullmetal will probably make me pay for the whole damned thing if I piggy-back on his special day like this...but everything is in line for this to happen."

She watched a dazzling smile of excitement take over his face as he rambled on about how he was going to figure out their wedding in two days.

"I'll make you a dress with those scraps Pinako has laying around, I think there is enough there as long as you don't want something huge. Then I bet I could steal her curtains from the den...they looked lacy..."

Riza put her hand on his and smiled. "Maybe we should ask Winry first."

"I don't think she's going to give up any material from her dress, not after that cleavage fiasco. I don't know how she could be surprised by the size of her own breasts but I guess she can't really flaunt too much or Ed will pass out at the alter."

"Roy," She squeezed his hand to get him to look at her. His elated grin was still on his face. "I mean about the wedding. You can't just steal the spotlight from them, this is their day."

"This was Ed's suggestion." Roy shrugged.

"This is _Winry's_ special day." She repeated. "She's been waiting for him to come home for a long time, she's been waiting for a family again for too long."

Roy swallowed hard. Riza was speaking from experience. "Does this mean...you approve?"

Riza didn't want to say anything and get his hopes up. "Let's ask Winry and we'll go from there."

Roy opened the car door and jumped out, cupped his hands and shouted. "Hey Fullmetal! Get your ass in the car."


	6. Something Old, Something New

_Until that Day _

Chapter 6

**Something Old, Something New**

* * *

It had been a while since Roy had experienced that sickening tingle of anticipation that was associated with needing permission to take a life changing decision. To keep his mind occupied and maintain his cool facade he let himself recall the memories he linked with this nauseating feeling surface. The earliest recollection was when had stood before his Aunt Chris as a pre-teen and told her he wanted to study alchemy, his nervous voice cracking as he clenched the mop handle in his hands. His foster mother had taken a long drag on her cigarette and exhaled a cloud of dense smoke that obscured her face for several painstaking seconds. After what seem like an eternity, her face became clear and a smile was on her painted lips. Her eyes betrayed her pride and amusement as she said she'd look into buying him some books and lining up a teacher.

Then he discovered that the feeling of apprehension could be _so much_ worse. After three years of private study he was ready to start his apprenticeship with a real alchemy master and Berthold Hawkeye was not an easy man to impress. Roy could still remember rubbing his palms on his pants constantly to keep them dry as he sat in the parlor of the Hawkeye house with his suitcase beside him hoping the Flame Alchemist would just stop staring at him. Aunt Chris did all the talking, she wasn't fazed by the stoic gaunt man in the least, but those eyes of Hawkeye's never left Roy and he felt like he was going to shatter under the pressure. The man didn't blink, or maybe he just timed it right so that every time Roy blinked he'd take the opportunity so he could keep trying to intimidate him into running out the door.

Later he'd reflect on how the 'eye of the Hawk' was clearly passed down to Riza by her father, but at that point in time he probably would have asked her to just shoot him and put him out of his misery.

During his apprenticeship he acclimated to Master Hawkeye's ways and mannerisms, that scrutinizing gaze of the old man was something he always could feel no matter what he was doing. He had to admit now that the experienced help mold him into what he was today. He had yet to encounter anyone so unwavering and unsettling as Master Hawkeye and now he could hold a stare with any officer or dog that dared challenge him to that test of wills. Yes, in retrospect the experience was for the best even if it made his teenage years a little more stressful than he needed. He wondered if maybe it even helped train him to be sneaky and discreet with Riza, something that had been essential in their lives together.

Then there was Riza. That anxious feeling took a new turn with her and it was something he couldn't get enough of. The first time she pulled a splinter out of his foot or teased him about milking the cow. Or the light touch of her hand on his shoulder when he fell asleep studying and forgot about dinner. That first kiss in the hay field after the last of the crop was on the wagon. The blush on her face and the first time she ever broke eye contact with him when he told her she was beautiful. The flush of excitement when he finally saw a path for his life and knew it was going to include her.

He could recall the taste of bile in his mouth as he stood in Master Hawkeye's study again after his graduation. He stood there in uniform and stared off at exposed lathe from where a chunk of plaster had broken off the wall. He rationalized it as his training, it was what he was taught to do in the academy, and he was standing here at attention even if it only made his situation worse. His stomach churned and his heart pounded as Hawkeye mumbled some words of disapproval in regards to his decision to join the military. Maybe if he was the man he was today he would have marched to that desk and put his fist down and told that old bastard that he did it for Riza, because she deserved to never live in poverty again. She deserved a man she could be proud of, a man who would use his life to make a difference and show her the love she never got in that wretched house. But the boy he was back then was a far cry from the battered fool he was now, even if he still couldn't find the courage to take that next step and ask her to be his wife. There were always excuses.

So, now he was going to get the chance to ask if he could marry the woman he loved like he should have done years ago. Only this time he was going to be asking a young automail mechanic instead of Riza's father. It didn't make him any less anxious as the car stopped in front of the Rockbell home and parked. He knew that if Winry said no that there was the option of just eloping this weekend, but he so desperately wanted Riza to have that perfect wedding: the dress, the excitement and her family.

Roy heard the car door open and Ed slam it quickly, clearly not as affected by this pivotal moment as he or Riza was. It made him move, that knowledge that Edward Elric would simply march up to his fiance and bluntly ask if he could turn it into a double wedding for his loser former superior officer. Roy swallowed hard, he had no idea what to say to Winry to make this all happen as he was too busy thinking about his past on the entire drive back to the house. He looked over at Riza as he opened his door and saw the same look of panic on her face as Ed casually walked to the house.

They both were out of the car in an instant and were briskly walking to the house. Roy watched Ed open the door and heard his voice call for Winry then the young man disappeared and left the door open for them. Den walked out and greeted them as Winry hollered at her soon to be husband for leaving the door open.

Riza's eyes grew wide as the door slammed shut and Roy walked right into it. He was reaching for the doorknob as it began to swing shut and leaned forward slightly instead of just holding his hand out to stop the door's momentum. It was a habit of his she noticed developing over the last year, his hands hurt more when splayed flat out so he started to compensate by using his clenched fist or grasping for everything. She bit her lip as he took a step back and held his head, as much as she wanted to make sure he was OK she new the more urgent situation was inside so she opened the door for him.

Roy cursed under his breath as the door opened in front of him. He heard Ed's voice and immediately his concern about a new dent in his head was no longer an issue. As he stepped inside the house, he was just in time to see Ed getting his hand slapped for reaching for the hot apple pie on the kitchen table.

"Yeah, so since we already are having a wedding and we know all the same people I figured it was a good solution." Ed said and pouted as the smell of the cinnamon and apples assaulted his senses and his mouth began to water. "What do you think?"

And there was that agonizing silence he associated with almost every incident of bile churning in his gut and creeping up his esophagus. Roy froze in place as Winry looked at them as Ed sat down at the table and broke off a piece of crust hanging over the edge of the pie pan. Winry's eyes went from him to Riza and back to him. He stared back, softened his eyes and raised his eyebrows slightly to give her the most pleading look he could manage. He honestly didn't have anything to say and then he watched a grin form on her face. She whipped Ed in the head with her dish towel a few times before she squealed and ran over to Riza. Roy wasn't sure if he should cover his ears or go to Riza's assistance as Winry screamed and jumped around, then leapt into Riza and hugged her. He felt his whole body relax and an effortless smile form on his face.

"Oh my GOD YES!" Winry screamed. "YES YES YES!"

Roy grinned. "Thank you."

Ed raised his hand as he picked another piece of pie crust off and popped it in his mouth. "This was my idea, by the way. I want it noted that this supposed 'genius tactician' and 'celebrated war hero' General Mustang couldn't solve a simple problem that took me less than thirty seconds to figure out."

Roy ran his hand through his hair as his smile broadened. "Fine. I'll be sure to tell our kids that when I send them to you for alchemy lessons."

Winry finally let Riza go and wiped away tears of joy. "Oh my God, I'm so happy for you! I'd be honored if we could help you circumvent the military's laws!"

"Well no wonder she's your soul-mate, Fullmetal." Roy said as Winry squeezed his arm in excitement. "Loves to break laws of the land..."

"Oh please." Ed snorted,. "Don't you dare start with me Mustang. You've broken way more laws than me."

"What are you going to do for a dress?" Winry asked as she suddenly realized there were key elements missing for this new wedding to happen.

Riza looked over as Roy pointed at the curtains and gave her a thumbs up. "We'll take a look at your scrap fabric and figure out something."

"I'll go get the box!" Winry said and let loose a happy squeak as she darted up the stairs to get the extra fabric.

Ed was glad everyone was out of the house and running errands, Winry probably alerted the neighbors six miles down the road that something possibly illegal was going on at the Rockbell home. He took the opportunity to get a fork and and plate into order help himself to pie. He was, after all, a damned hero now and he deserved a reward. He cut a slice of pie and it oozed off the pie serving utensil since it didn't have time to set up. He slapped it on a plate and watched the apple contents fill the hole he created. "Well _now _I need to go make sure my vows are better than yours. You're welcome, General."

Riza looked at Roy as he gave her that warm, happy look that he got when he was daydreaming about puppies or her in a nurses outfit. "So, Roy Mustang, will you marry me?"

"I'll think about it." Roy chirped and walked towards the backroom as Ed shook his head and muttered about him being an asshole.

Riza bit her lip and tried to wipe her smile off her face before following him and giving him grief for that remark. She walked into the back bedroom and as soon as they were safely in the room he turned and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and savored it, enjoying every ounce of excitement and love that ignited between them as their lips crushed together like they had a thousand times before. However this was a moment to remember, a kiss of celebration.

"I still think these curtains would look classy." Roy said as he broke off the kiss and walked to the window in order to drape a scrap of cloth over his head. He pinched it closed around his chin and grinned at her as he turned to show off his makeshift veil. "Use the valance for a garter gun holster."

Riza laughed and went over to him, his smile something so innocent and unguarded that she wished she could take a picture of it. She pushed the curtains away from his face and kissed him again. How long had it been since they were playful like this? It felt so damned good. "I knew there was a reason I never went shopping with you."

"We could always call in an order to Havoc's General Store." Roy said thoughtfully. "He delivers."

"I don't want a shop dress." She let the curtains fall over her sleeve as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I want you to make it for me. No miniskirts though. "

"Including that garter gun-belt?" He asked and let his hand wander down her thigh as he looped his arms around her. "I'll have to take measurements to make sure it fits snugly and securely."

"You know I already have one." She whispered. "Leather, but I'm sure lace won't hold the gun in place."

"I didn't think you'd want to throw a pistol and garter into the crowd." Roy kissed her cheek. There was something so light and wonderful about her voice as she thought about the possibility of finally being his bride. The excitement of talking about a dress and what she wanted. "Sounds really irresponsible for someone who is so strict on gun safety."

"You just don't want anyone seeing that inscription you had engraved on that little gift you gave me." She rested her head against his shoulder and squeezed him.

"If you are going to strap something onto your thigh underneath your dress...of course I want you to think of me." He grinned. "I think that was probably one of the first gifts I gave you when we started dating. I didn't know if you were going to shoot me with it or kiss me."

"I recall thanking you with more than a kiss." She said and ran her hands over his back and up his neck to his messy hair. For the first time in a long time felt as optimistic as they did back then.

"I'll make you whatever you want Riza. I want you to have everything you always dreamed about." He said as he leaned into her touch as she ruffled his hair and gave him the softest smile.

"I only ever wanted you." She said and saw his face light up before he placed a kiss on her lips. "So maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself here with this dress since you haven't actually proposed to me again."

He tilted his head and grinned at her. "I know."

"I want to say 'yes' Roy." She continued to pet his hair. "I want to have that memory to erase all those times I said 'no'."

"I want it to be better than any of those times." He said sincerely and placed another light kiss on her lips. "So, keep waiting."

Riza tried not to smile, but a playful and happy Roy was hard to not enjoy. She was beyond excited and it was a wonderful feeling that she had almost forgotten about. Too often anticipation was associated with something dangerous or catastrophic on their horizon and it had been too long since she experienced this trepidation in relation to something good. She heard Winry coming with the box of promised material and finally let him slip from her grasp. He gave her another kiss before turning to grab to grab a small box off the dresser before leaving the room. She was amazed that some simple turn in their life could make them both instantly happy. It felt good and right and as she let herself smile and the joy overwhelm her.

She and Roy were getting married.

* * *

Ed was savoring his stolen pie and staring at the blank paper on the desk. He thought about the discussion he had with Mustang at the house and know he was going to have to talk with Winry eventually. He wasn't going to be able to write his vows until he had a clear understanding of where he stood, it was the 'composition' part of the equation that was the unknown and without it he wasn't going to be able to do anything with these hands other than steal pie. So he put his pencil down and sighed as he scraped the last delicious bit off the plate and contemplated exactly what it was he needed to say to Winry. Hearing the floor squeak he looked up as Roy came in, the marked difference in the man was astounding. "You should have asked me to help you years ago. Do you want me to tell you how to become Fuhrer too?"

Roy allowed him that cocky little smirk, the kid deserved to celebrate his victory for a while. He snuck past Winry in the hall as she bound past him with the box of scraps and decided it was time to tend to one of the other duties he had this weekend. He looked down at the box in his hand and wondered where the time went again and recalled a moment years earlier when he had been the one behind the desk and Ed was the grinning idiot in front of him. So he opened the box, pulled out the watch and tossed it to Ed like he did the first time. Just because he was still an asshole. "Your wedding present."

Ed dropped the plate on the desk in order to catch the silver watch that was coming at him. His hands wrapped around it's familiar form and the chain landed between his fingers as his eyes focused on the crest of Amestris. He looked at Mustang for confirmation because he really didn't think he'd ever see this again.

"It's yours." Roy said in response to the silent question.

Ed opened his State Alchemist pocket watch that had been confiscated when he was discharged. The watch was a identification piece and held a considerable amount of clout so naturally the military wasn't going to allow him to have it as a keepsake. He knew before he even saw his scrawl on the lid that it was his, he knew the feel of the release catch so damned well. How many times had he played with this damned thing when he had it? He looked at his inscription on the inside and swallowed hard. "How did you get this?"

"I didn't exactly surrender it when I turned your paperwork in. I made a copy and let them put it in the National Archives." Roy said and watched Ed cradle the thing like it was a lost pet finally returning home. He should have given it to him earlier, but something inside of him wanted to hold on to it until the time was right. If he gave it to him before he was ready to move to a new chapter of life, he worried Ed would linger forever remembering what he lost instead of moving on. There was a reason the kid burnt his house down.

"You stole it?" Ed had to laugh. Maybe they should tally the amount of laws the two of them had broken and see where they leveled out. "And made a counterfeit watch?"

"You deserved something more than just a pension, Fullmetal." Roy shrugged nonchalantly as if it wasn't illegal for the young man to be in possession of it. "After everything else I've done, what's another act of treason? Just don't go flashing it in people's faces like you used to, if you don't mind."

"Thanks." Ed said softly. The weight of it still felt so good in his hand.

"You earned it." Roy turned to leave. "We got you something a little bit more appropriate as a wedding present. With your parents and home gone, I didn't think you had heirlooms to pass down. So, now you do."

Ed looked up and watched him slip out of the study clearly not interested in creating yet another awkward moment this weekend. He was right, they really didn't have anything left of their old life and

nobody alive to give them tokens like this. A way of showing how proud you were of your kids. He wrapped his hand around the watch and stared at his clenched fist, remembering the first time he held the watch when he was just a kid.

That moment when he became the youngest state alchemist in history could be classified as probably the most anti-climactic moment in his life. He was expecting congratulations and possibly a little respect and all he got was a nonchalant toss and Mustang's regular dismissive arrogant tone. He had been crestfallen and had the event not been so quickly brushed past he might have been more emotional about it. Mustang was just an asshole. At that time, there was no other explanation. However, right now, he was struggling to not get emotional about the same scenario that played out because it was everything that first moment wasn't. Roy refused to return the watch to the State because Ed 'earned it' and 'deserved it'. Perhaps if he had heard those words as a kid in that office it wouldn't have meant what it should have anyhow, it would have just fueled his ego.

Winry peeked around the corner as Ed sat at the desk and stared at his fist. She wasn't sure if he was threatening to punch himself in the face or just contemplating something. She left the box of material with Riza and left when Roy returned knowing that they had a lot to decide and they just deserved to be alone for a while. Ed looked up at her and she smiled at him until she saw the plate on the desk. "Seriously? You ruined the pie by hacking into it too soon!"

"It's still delicious even if it's changed shape a little." Ed leaned back in the chair and pushed the plate behind a stack of books. "So did you get Riza the materials she needed?"

Winry walked over and leaned on the desk, "Yes. She's pretty excited and I'm really excited for them. That was really sweet of you to suggest that."

"Well he clearly needed help." Ed mumbled .

"So are you going to talk to me about what's bothering you?" She asked and watched his eyes dart back to his clenched hand. She wanted to clear things up before everyone came back from running errands. "You were at the house again. Did I upset you by asking if you wanted to move back there? I didn't mean to..."

He shook his head. "No, that's not it. I just needed to think and...I guess we do need to talk."

"You need to stop hiding things from me." She said and his eyes lifted up to meet hers.

Ed looked at her dazzling blue eyes and realized there were filled with curiosity and not worry. She had confidence in him, she never doubted him and he hated that at this juncture in his life he was doubting himself. "I'm just worried that I'm going to break my promise to you, to give you my life when I'm not sure what I'm doing with it or even what it's worth."

She stood and bent to give him a kiss on the cheek and watched him blush. "Stop over-thinking it. Not every little thing needs to be dissected down to it's most basic parts in order to see how it works. Some things should be about feelings and trust...not everything has to have gears and mechanisms or elements and bonds. Just a little faith, huh?"

"Alchemy has been my life." He said and absentmindedly opened his fist to play with the watch. The familiar click of the lid opening felt comforting. "I just...don't know what to do with my life. I'm asking you to spend the rest of my life with me and I can't give you a substantial idea of what you're getting. You...deserve better."

She put her finger on his chin and made him look at her. "I've always known what I was getting. It's why I've been waiting."

He stared into her eyes as the most beautiful smile developed on her lips.

"I know you're going to keep traveling and researching, it's who you are. You may not be able to perform alchemy but you are still an alchemist and you're still looking for truth. So you'll travel, some times you'll go alone and when I'm able I'll come with you. There's automail advancements out there I want to see too. So, stop worrying about it. I'm marrying you, not your job title."

He blinked and said, "You already wrote your vows."

She grinned. It was amazing to her how he could read through things she said and see things like that. Unfortunately he sometimes missed the message. "You're an idiot, but you're my idiot. So quit thinking so much because we're getting married in two days and there are two people on the other side of that wall that are going to get married after us. I'll disable that leg of yours if you think you're going anywhere before then."

He stood, wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight.

Winry felt something press into her back as he hugged her so she pulled his hand over to look at it. "Is this your State Alchemist watch?"

"Yeah, Mustang stole it and gave it back to me." Ed smiled.

Winry looked up at him and ran her hand over his cheek. "You know, I hated him for taking you away from us but I'm glad he did. I don't know where you and Al would have gone without someone watching you two and reining you in from time to time. You really ended up with quite a family. I'm glad they're here."

* * *

Riza watched him squint at the magazine and growled. "Use your damned glasses."

Roy let his eyes leave the wedding magazine and drift up to hers as she held out the reading glasses for him. "You're not going to make me wear those at the wedding...are you?"

"I have faith that you won't need them to read your vows." She said and watched a grin form on his face as she opened up the glasses and put them on his face for him. "Mainly because I think you're going to make them up on the spot."

"Not true." He said and took the glasses off to set them on the bed with the wedding dress fashion magazine. He slipped off the bed and hit one knee. "Giving my life to you has always been an easy decision."

"Oh?" She asked and her heart fluttered as he took her hand and kissed it, his eyes never leaving her face. "Are you planning to ask me to shoot you again?"

"No." He smiled and rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "Riza Elizabeth Hawkeye..."

She caught her breath as he placed a lingering kiss on her hand in preparation of proposing again. She smiled, knowing that this was finally the time when she was going to tell him 'yes'.

"You've been by my side through the most trying times of my life." He looked down at her hand as she squeezed his, her thumb rolling over his scar gently. In a few days, he'd finally see a ring on her finger signifying that they were ready to move forward with their lives. "You've been my salvation."

She bit her lip as he paused to reach into his shirt and pull out the ring that had been haunting them for too long. Then she heard something squeak and looked up for a split second, her eyes catching a movement in the window that shouldn't have been there. With her spare hand she instinctively reached for the pistol she kept in her thigh holster.

Roy was about to pull the necklace off and free the ring from the chain when he saw her free hand move down her leg, lift her skirt and her revolver materialize. His eyes grew wide and then the hand he was holding broke free of his grip and shoved his head down below the bed. "Riz...ahhhh."

Riza's gun was pointed at the intruder before Roy hit the floor. She blinked when she recognized the face.

"Hey." Ling Yao waved as he hung upside down in the bedroom window. "Do I smell apple pie?"

Roy scrambled back into a sitting position and looked over the bed at the Emperor of Xing crawling in the bedroom window. "When the hell did you get here and why the fuck can't you figure out how to use a damned door!?"

Ling sighed as his stomach growled. "So I'm too late for lunch?"


End file.
